this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2025
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Heartbroken man realizes he only loved idea of fried egg on burger (theonion.com)
submitted 3 months ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works
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After a disappointing lunch that shattered his romanticized view of the topping, heartbroken local man Vince Salazar stated Monday that he now understood he had only ever loved the idea of a fried egg on a hamburger. “I thought the sunny-side up burger upgrade was what I really wanted, but I’ve come to see that I fell for a glamorized flavor profile that was never going to make me happy,” said Salazar, who explained that he had fetishized what it would be like to have an ooey-gooey yolk poured over his beef patty and allowed to soak into his bun, never truly appreciating what made a burger great in the first place. [...]

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[–] elucubra@sopuli.xyz 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pro tip: Bottom bun -> mayo -> lettuce -> meat -> cheese/bacon/whatever -> onion -> tomato, pickle (optional) mustard (and if you are taste challenged, ketchup, bless your heart) -> top bun.

The mayo and lettuce on the bottom shields the lower bun from juices.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I usually put the lettuce above the patty, but maybe having it below would help with the juices. Thanks for the tip!

[–] Substance_P@lemmy.world 3 points 3 months ago

Loving all these burger tips, I'll be changing up my condiment order for sure next time.