90s Memes

Around the time this show aired I really wanted a dog, and of course I loved wishbone so I wanted a jack russell terrier.

My dad tried to tell me and my mom that there is something very deeply wrong with Jack Russell Terriers. And me. Of course, as was tradition in our family neither of us was going to let anyone tell us anything about anything.

So we added a Jack Russell Terrier to our two German shepherd home.

Here are some charming things about that dog:

• he loved shit. Like, many dogs will eat their own shit but this dog truly loved any and all shit. You had to keep an eye out while walking him - I grew up beside a lot of nature in an urban area, and in those days picking up your dogs shit wasn't as common as it is now, so if you let your guard down for even a second while walking him he'd eat any kind of shit he found. And/or roll in it. Usually and. He got off the leash once when my mom came back from a walk with him and tore into the house at max speed, covered in shit, and I screamed while my parents tried to corral him without touching him to get him to the bathroom to wash him off. He also rolled around on the couches and got them covered in shit.

• He loved animal carcasses just as much, and in the same way. If it was dead and he could get at it he'd roll on it and try to eat some of it. Didn't matter how long it had been dead.

• He used to smile like a person. Picture a dog baring an its teeth and you'll know what it looked like. Which was cute. He'd also sit like a person sometimes, which was also cute, but he'd only do this when we had company, and only so he could lick his own dick. He'd sit there, smiling, making eye contact with everyone in the room as the lipstick came out and then just go to town on himself, licking his dick.

• He knew no fear. He once started a fight with a pit bull that had gotten off its leash. Our German shepherds finished the fight, (all the dogs were okay in the end - the pitbull backed down after our two shepherds fucked it up. Minor scratches and wounds on our shepherds. Our Jack Russell was unharmed of course

• If the door was open even an inch he would be gone, just out the door and away.

• One of my German Shepherds would come into my room at night. He would always have his head down like he was afraid he was doing something wrong as he'd gently climb into bed with me to sleep. We would then sleep for a while and cuddle. Eventually (and this always happened, of course), if the door wasn't firmly sealed shut, our Jack Russell would push the door open, jump into t bed, and bite and head butt and growl at our German Shepherd until he left the bed. I know it wasn't because of jealousy, because he'd leave the room too.