ZUNE!

Oh my god you just reactivated a memory and now you gotta deal with it.

So I had an iPod... nano? When I was a kid. The lil slim bitch. The top of it had a lil plastic cover with a hold button and that cover came off. Just fell the fuck apart. A friend of mine at the time had a Zune with the lil circular pad and all. Looked great, worked great, was durable as hell too. He chucked it at a wall and it still worked so I was sold.

I got my Red Zune. 80gb I think it was. Big chunky bitch. Square touchpad. Giant clear screen. Built in radio functions and special wallpapers and all. Leagues ahead of the shitty ipod I was using. Then the second I pulled it out in public? Derision. I didn't get it and still don't. As far as I'm concerned, it was the superior product and I used it until the day I was forced to sell it. I ended up homeless and I couldn't justify having the zune for any longer.

I've regretted that sale every day since. The $50 wasn't worth it. I miss my red zune. I miss listening to Godsmack on it followed immediately by the Fallout 3 soundtrack. I miss the nice wine red color with the silver metallic backing. I miss the big screen with the pictures of naked hairy men as my background to make sure that everyone knew I was gay and exactly who owned it. I miss the feeling of that metal backing sliding over my hands and catching a little bit because it's almost like it was dusted with metallic powder to help with the grip. I miss the cool Z line-art logo. I miss the shitty software, blindingly white with splashes of oranges and pinks.

I am not kidding when I say that out of all of the regrets in my life? Selling my zune is in my top 5.

I actually feel kinda sad now. Treasure it, my friend... treasure it for me.