this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2025
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I would say this is definitely not a red flag.
But I'm also not saying it's green. Probably more green than anything... Maybe a nice seafoam.
The Good is that she wasn't angry and was being patient. Letting you figure it out. The not great but not bad part of this is that she did nothing to help.
I would have just stepped outside for "some fresh air" and wait for the person to notice me standing next to the entrance. That way I'm helping them, but only a little, they still have to find me. Finding me may be easier than finding the establishment that we agreed to meet at.
The key here is to not go out and call them over. Let them find you. If you call them, it's kinda difficult to walk the line of, "oh hey, I'm over here" and not cross over into "get over here stupid. I had to come get you because you're to dumb to find things yourself".... Best play is just to make yourself more obvious.
I wouldn't say this is a green flag as it is, but it's definitely not a red one.
Hehehe I'm way too autistic for this type of internal monologue.
Hey fren wassup!
ADHD here. We study behavior so we can mask.
It becomes almost rudimentary when you notice the patterns. Just need to know what to look for and constantly be thinking of how the other person will see it.
She gets this opportunity to study his thinking from this perspective ONCE. Let her enjoy, and if she still likes him, and he likes her, that was an awesome move!
Coming back to edit... if I'm the lost dude, and she comes out to grab me, that's embarrassing. Fuck that. Everything that happened was good. It's a green flag now.
It's a red flag on the third date.
That's a fine opinion. You have every right to disagree with me and I'll fight anyone who tries to take that away from you.
We may not agree on this, but it's not worth getting bothered about. Enjoy your day!