this post was submitted on 22 Oct 2025
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You go, Seagoon!!
I think all emotions are valid, but it's what you do with them that matters. E.g. feeling jealous or angry, people shame others for it. What they should be shaming is the behaviour that comes in response to those emotions. I'm a big fan of responding over reacting.
It's also important to remember that just because you feel a certain way, doesn't mean everything is that way. I constantly feel like I'm doomed. Or in social situations, if I feel awkward, I must be awkward and unlikeable. But then I remember I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a beautiful dog sleeping somewhere in the next room. I have had some successful social interactions and made some good connections. That doesn't invalidate the shitty feelings, but it helps to put things in perspective for me.
Oh also with the negative self-talk coming from other people, it makes me think about how young kids don't really have any of that at first, but then they're socialised to loathe themselves. I wonder if it's nature or nurture here. I think it has to do with our need to belong as well.
sadly they can learn negative talk in infancy
Infants that are not nurtured, whose emotional health is neglected don't learn emotional regulation and they learn that people aren't to be trusted, not even mothers.
No. Not all emotions are valid. Many are stupid and useless. I say this as someone who had severe crippling PTSD, emotions can suck, they can be based on insane ideas in your head , they can be destructive.
Note your emotions, question your emotions. Even good emotions.
Are your emotions coming from your true self, are they informing you?
I believe the "your emotions are valid" idea has some merit, but only in the context of not being critical of yourself for feeling them. Accepting that you are feeling something can be an important part in the process of then stepping back and questioning why you are feeling it and whether it is appropriate for the situation you are in.
Yep, this is exactly what I meant. Thanks for articulating it so well.