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submitted 3 days ago by cm0002@libretechni.ca to c/funny@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Dave@lemmy.nz 14 points 3 days ago

Grandma, can you tell me that story you used to tell me as a kid?

Sure, once upon a time, Goldilocks was walking through a Rayonier™ sustainable forest, when she came across a Turner Construction™ subdivision with a Toll Brothers® cottage.

She went inside and found three delicious bowls of Quaker™ porridge on the table. The first was delicious but too hot, the second was delicious but too cold, and being her favourite brand of porridge she tried the third bowl and it was perfect. She washed it down with a cold glass of Alta Dena™ 2% milk, a perfect combination.

...

I could keep going but it's scaring me.