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My Friends Would Rather Have Their Guts Cut Open Than Be Like Me - [an Essay(ish)]
(theestablishment.co)
this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2025
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Fat phobia is probably the prejudice I am most personally and intimately familiar with, and it has continued to astound me the depth of self hatred and external vitriol it can inspire.
This feels like such a poetic expression of the mental dance that turns in to emotional knots. I think it's fair to be angry that there exists enough social and cultural pressure to be "acceptable" that people would undergo a fairly dangerous procedure that intentionally removes one of the greatest simple pleasures in life. And it's not a coincidence that far more women get bariatric surgery than men.
I feel the knots in my own head when I think about the wegovy prescription I recently got. My decision was made because I have enough health issues that this would theoretically help, but do I get excited about the fact that I might be able to just get cute clothes from random shops again? Do I get excited at the thought that maybe more people will think I'm pretty and maybe I could finally find a partner or even just have someone flirt with me? Absolutely. Am I excited that maybe doctors will stop blaming my weight for my chronic issues that started long before the weight? Yes. Does it feel like a deal with the devil, even without the potential horrors of bariatric surgery? Also yes. (And is that too many rhetorical questions in this format? Seems likely 😅)
I'm not sure I have the energy to debate anyone about this, but I thought I would share my own perspective 🩷
Thank you, Wren, this has given much food for thought!
I'm so glad, and thanks for sharing your experience.
Doctors are bitches. I come from a strong line of packmule women and I've had doctors I could bench-press tell me to exercise more. I don't even have that much actual fat! I hate that big is sometimes the only metric people use to determine health when it comes to women, so, I get why someone would reject everything about weight loss. And, I hope you always feel healthy and at home in your body, no matter where the new meds take you.
Anyway, I had to read this twice. I did not like the author on the first go. Then, I went back in pretending she was fictional character, gaining much more compassion for her. It made me realize what a brave piece this was to write.
She was raw and honest, saying "this is what I feel," without metering out her worst tendencies between excuses and appologies and sadness like every other piece I've read about being overweight. She's just like "Fuck it, I'm a whale. And by the way, I hope you all get to be whales, too!"
She isn't right or wrong, she is just ridiculously herself.
Yes, I think that's exactly it, she's just ridiculously herself, vulnerable, unfiltered 💜
And thank you for the kind words of support for my journey! At least I'm in a much better headspace than I used to be, learning how to be more me has really helped with that.