this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2026
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I'm sorry that happened to you, and I hope you're on the path to healing.
Thankfully, a huge amount are nothing like that. I have a few guy friends that I know I can trust with my whole self, to just be good guys.
The scary part is that too many are like that, and even scarier is that there are even more in a gray area in the middle - ones who wouldn't necessarily act like that, but if a friend did, they'd defend that froend instead of calling out shitty behavior and holding them accountable.
The analogy I heard the other day was: It’s like assuming every gun is loaded. Of course not every gun is loaded, but for your own safety you should act like every one is. Of course not every guy is going to pressure you about sex or possibly commit SA but for your safety you should act like every one is.