this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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[–] Lembot_0006@programming.dev 30 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Trump: Fuck Iran. They could wait. Time to bomb Australia, those ungrateful covfefes of emu kangaroos!

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Trump: Lots of concerning things in Austria, kinda named like Australia so we have people looking into that. Sad!

[–] Lembot_0006@programming.dev 13 points 3 days ago

JD Vance: Master, I don't think Austria is a real country. Most probably it is just Australia written with a typo. Drunken Hegseth, you know... This happens.

[–] RhondaSandTits@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 days ago

Trump: Have The Rolling Stones killed

JD: But sir, those aren't...

Trump: DO AS I SAY!

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Given how all of America's other wars have gone in recent history I'm pretty sure the emus and kangaroos will dominate the US military.

[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

breaking news: united states loses second emu war

[–] Lodespawn@aussie.zone 3 points 2 days ago

I don't know if that would be "Breaking" news. Knowing them it would be more like "After decades of merciless guerllia style warfare in the deserts and cities of Australia, with hundreds of thousands of human lives lost, billions of dollars spent and the world seeing nuclear weapons again used in anger, President Barron Trump has secured a peace deal that requires complete withdrawl of US forces and giving the Emu Kangaroo Government of Australia complete control over the country."

[–] dellish@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Trump wouldn't say "fuck Iran" after he finds out how old Iran is..