this post was submitted on 21 Feb 2026
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Piracy: ꜱᴀɪʟ ᴛʜᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ꜱᴇᴀꜱ
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Halt,, citizen!!
You are found GUILTY of PIRACY!! You are mandated by libertarian law - and the honor system - to report to the Corporate Repayment Labour Camp for 40 years of indentured servitude!
If you fail to report, a division of ICE run by a cloned Dog The Bounty Hunter will be dispatched, 10 years will be added to your sentence and at least 2 generations of your offspring will be mandated to pay Corporate Reparations and will forfeit all their intellectual property rights to the Mega Yachts for Emotionally Stunted Yuppies charity.
You agreed to these terms when you were born and signed the license agreement by crying in the Pepsicola Maternity Ward.
This sentencing brought to you by the Houston Payday Loan & Organ Brokerage firm. Problems paying rent? You don't really need two kidneys. The option is on the table, and so is your kidney.