this post was submitted on 13 Mar 2026
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Kif isn't a traitor though. Sure he's cowardly and basically useless, but he's got a good heart.
Zap has destroyed multiple planets and sacrificed his men while Kif just watches. They blew up the DOOP headquarters and attacked the Neutral planet. Tell my wife I said "Hello."
"Sir, I don't think that's wise."
"Kif, if there's one thing I don't need, it's your 'I don't think that's wise' attitude"
"What shall I do with your Jergens Sir?"
"Squirt it on some homeless man with dry elbows."