No Stupid Questions
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I just recently started watching Star Trek, and Kirk is very unlike the memes. The most noticeable thing is that, contrary to what TV and the Internet would have you believe, he talks like a normal human being.
As to why he is a good leader, he is competent and perceptive He always prioritises the health and safety of his crew even above his own.He never pursues romantic or sexual relations with crew members no matter how much he would like to, and takes reports of sexual harassment seriously ("Charlie X"). He doesn't throw his weight around; while decisions are ultimately his to make, he listens to his subordinates and acts on their advice. He takes swift action, but only after diplomacy and negotiation have failed.