fFUUUUUUUUU i wrote a long response but accidentally deleted it. fuck

I was extremely depressed not long ago. and extremely lonely, feeling unworthy of affection or human relationships. barely felt human.

It began with no kings, I met a group protesting Palestine (had no idea they existed, and a topic in very interested). from there I joined their weekly protests. from those I was introduced to DSA, and I began working on their mutual aids. before I realized I was getting invited to other activities/action groups...

now?

From those groups I have made very deep friendships which I treasure deeply. Have grown as a person, I feel human. I see them so often, barely passes a couple days without hanging out with someone. Have managed dating, partly because how much more interesting and rich my life is right now, but cut it off due to cPTSD giving me nightmarish flashbacks from a traumatic abusive relationship I had in the past. but I still get intimacy frequently, like amazing intimacy with amazing people regularly. my depression is non existent. and it became a positive feedback loop, and in ever step, i gradually discovered who the fuck I was, the person lost in years of depression. I'm a fruity silly goof who wants to make the world a better place.

I'm not saying any of this to brag. and it is my upmost intention not to make you feel worse. I want you to believe that I was there, 100% was there, in the deepest depression, over a decade without experiencing any positive emotion, 5 suicide attempts, countless failed antidepressant treatments.

all I'm saying, find a group that does something you care about, and show up. consistency is key. it was so awkward at the beginning. but it got so easy so quickly.

if your situation is so dire I believe you can get out.