this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023

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Atheism

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Christian roulette (feddit.de)

submitted 2 years ago by atheist@feddit.de to c/atheism@feddit.de

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[–] rynzcycle@kbin.social 42 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (9 children)

During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, "Please give me some of your son's mandrakes."
-Gen 30:14

Umm... what the hell do I do? What's a mandrake?!

Random Verse Generator, who's next?

ETA: I googled

The alkaloids make the plant, in particular the root and leaves, poisonous, via anticholinergic, hallucinogenic, and hypnotic effects.

Yeah, I'm goin' to jail.

[–] AWildMimicAppears@kbin.social 14 points 2 years ago

Acts 16:3

Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek.

oof, jail it is.

[–] Thepinyaroma@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago

Exodus 35:3 Passage: "Do not light a fire in any of your dwellings on the Sabbath day."

Well, not jail at least.

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Leviticus 19:21

Passage: The man, however, must bring a ram to the entrance to the tent of meeting for a guilt offering to the LORD.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Sounds like you will have to apologize for problems at work that you cause with livestock.

[–] boeman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It could mean you need to steal your neighbor's truck.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Steal the neighbor's truck to apologize for the first thing, then say sorry to the neighbor by giving them livestock.

[–] Random_German_Name@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago

Psalms 80:3 Passage: Restore us, O God; make your face shine on us, that we may be saved.

Guess I have good chances of winning

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Isaiah 5:22 Passage: Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

God in a night out: I fucking love you guys and I fucking love the bartender!

Bible writers: Woe to those who are heroes at drinking wine and champions at mixing drinks.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Woe, is me!

[–] JackGreenEarth@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

First one that's am actual command:

Psalms 136:3 Passage: Give thanks to the Lord of lords: His love endures forever.

[–] Ubermeisters@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 years ago

His love endures forever while your pathetic body crumbles

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

It's genocidin' time!

Joshua 9:24 They answered Joshua, "Your servants were clearly told how the LORD your God had commanded his servant Moses to give you the whole land and to wipe out all its inhabitants from before you. So we feared for our lives because of you, and that is why we did this."

[–] Nalivai@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

When the waters become hard as stone, when the surface of the deep is frozen?

Ok, I'm fine till winter

[–] electrogamerman@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

1 John 2:17

Passage: The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever

I live to see another day