Asklemmy

43810 readers

1 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS

296

People who can don't get mad and just go with the flow, how do you do it? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 2 years ago by hactar42@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

184 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Here recently it seems like everything just gets under my skin so quickly and easily. It's not that I get mad and take it out on others, it's just the fact that I'm constantly annoyed and stressed. Something as simple as the dogs tracking some mud through the house will just ruin my mood. I know some people who would just laugh it off and clean it up. Meanwhile I'll get pissed that I didn't wipe their feet and be mad the entire time I'm cleaning it up. This has nothing to do with the dogs, it just an example. Any number of seemingly insignificant things can trigger me like that. Like forgetting something at the store and having to go back. I would love to be able to go, "well that sucks" and just get over it.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] cashews_best_nut@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Age. After 40 years I realised it's not worth getting wound up about things. Every year I drop more and more 'baggage'. Life is a lot easier when you let things go.

Similarly, experience. I've survived suicide attempts, close calls, addictions, fights, sickness and death. My meds being lost by the pharmacy is pretty minor compared to the epic time travel battle I had against God last year during a meth psychosis that resulted in my arrest and court. Experience adds perspective.

Meditation and noticing emotions don't have to be acted upon. It's on top feel something. It's pointless trying to stop that feeling. What you can do is not act on that feeling. Raging at the idiot who pulled in front of you solves nothing.

Hanlon's Razor: "don't attribute to malice what can be explained by ignorance". The majority of times people 'wrong' you is due to ignorance. Not malice. One of the reasons why I find the obsession with labelling people "narcissist" a bit silly. They aren't, they're just wrapped up in their own bubble of problems. We all are.

Stoicism has many great lessons and quotes that are worth reflecting on over your lifetime. Let them percolate your soul and after many years you just become more stoic.

[–] pingveno@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I would add to Hanlon’s Razor that not everything needs an intent behind it. Sometimes things just happen, good or bad, and you should take them as they come without worrying too much about whether someone has wronged you. A lot of people get wrapped up in conspiracy theory thinking because they have to have an explanation for everything, even if they have to invent shadowy organizations.