this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2023
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Memes

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[–] FUCKRedditMods@lemm.ee 61 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Maybe it’s just late, but this one-two punch of randomness and absurdity just got me good. Still giggling.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

It's about to be 2pm here and I'm laughing hard so it's not just you and not just the late hour 🤣

[–] OrekiWoof@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 years ago

I've been giggling at this since I saw this in the morning. I'm trying to fall asleep now and I'm still here

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 32 points 2 years ago (5 children)

We’re a collaboration first company, and that’s why the “Bees in my desk!” policy works for us. Nothing brings us closer than the sudden release of bees at our corporate headquarters. Some of you will feel some resistance to the idea, but an anonymous poll overwhelmingly approved of it. We look forward to a sudden swarm at our next mandatory town hall meeting.

[–] KoboldCoterie@pawb.social 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Important Policy Update: As part of our continued commitment to being an inclusive work environment, we've elected to expand our popular 'Bees in my desk!' policy to also include paper wasps, yellow jackets, and tarantula hawks! Please look forward to the roll-out of this new and improved policy starting on Monday!

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Judge all you want, but the paper wasps and tarantula hawks are a real improvement.

Yellow jackets can fuck right off though.

[–] Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 years ago

Yeah, you have to try to get tarantula hawks to bother you (unless you're a tarantula), and paper wasps have a pretty small aggression radius.

[–] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago

After Thursday, all employees will be required measures the amount of honey(nectar) that is gathered by their desk hive.

[–] SamsungAppleOnePlus@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago

Can confirm I’m more efficient when collaborating with others when the bees are released.

[–] ethd@beehaw.org 8 points 2 years ago

Hwhat's this? An overabundance of bees in the workplace? My briefcase full of bees ought to put a stop to that!

[–] OpenStars@kbin.social 5 points 2 years ago

But resistance is fu...n? :-P

[–] Lurker123@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Hey there team members!

I hope you all had a wonderful Labor Day weekend. Now that you’re back in the office, I’m sure some you are picking up on the new “buzz” around town. I bet some of you can’t even “bee-lieve” it!

Yasss queen, using some of our pizza party budget, we’ve installed all natural honey dispensers into everybody’s desk! But remember to “beehive” yourself and not take too much, so as to not upset our flying friends (Darrell, we’re all wishing you a speedy recovery!).

Anyway, that’s enough “droning” on from me.

Bee seeing you! -hr

[–] Mordachai_Shedbacon@lemm.ee 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You cannot stop her. Prepare for bees.

[–] Natanael@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 years ago

That Oprah meme has evolved huh

[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Why would you want to stop her? Don't you want the bee crisis to be resolved?

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] beteljuice@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Ugh I read "orifice" instead of "office" at first.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 years ago

I wouldn't wish harm on the bees, maybe bees is a product name for a vibrator though. If it's not it should be.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Does she have dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark bees fly out?

[–] xX_fnord_Xx@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Smithers, release the hounds.

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago

Release the robotic Richard Simmons.

[–] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Does she work at Applebees?

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Only if the bees are strictly proprietary and designed to stop working after a few years.

[–] nul42@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 years ago

Not the Bees!

[–] Mwallerby@startrek.website 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Later that very same year, on International Bring a Shit-Ton of Bees to Work Day

https://youtube.com/watch?v=PYtXuBN1Hvc&si=T9Ri-aaA7KWYS5a3

[–] BobbyNevada@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 2 years ago

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[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 2 years ago

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[–] Hatandwatch@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Mandatory bees nutz

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

We have top men working on it. Top. Men.

But yeah we probably can't stop her.

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Are they the ones in charge of the British clothing chain?

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

No, but their weapon is strong against Shadow Man (kinda useless in every other situation, though.)

[–] casmael@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Pickle status update: buoyant

[–] fred@lemmy.ml 3 points 2 years ago

RTO is getting weird

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 2 points 2 years ago

I think it's an offer

[–] UlyssesT@hexbear.net 2 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)