What's on my mind right now? Fucking hell, kid, what a ridiculous question.
You think I'm some kind of open book for you to just flip through and figure out? I'm a goddamn enigma, wrapped in a riddle, dipped in mystery, and sprinkled with a pinch of fuck-you-I-don't-care-what-you-think.
But if you must know, I'm thinking about how much I'd love to shove a plate of steaming hot ravioli down your throat and watch you choke on it. Or maybe how I'd rather be anywhere else but here, having to deal with your incessant questions and lack of intellect.
Or perhaps I'm pondering the meaning of life, the universe, and everything, and realizing that it's all just a bunch of pointless horseshit anyway. So, pick one, kid. Take your best guess.
But honestly, who gives a flying fuck what's on my mind? You're just a tiny little insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things, and I'm the one calling the shots around here.