this post was submitted on 21 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] mathemachristian@lemm.ee 239 points 2 years ago (5 children)

I already hate people who send voice messages in a world where dictation software exists. I hate whoever even thought of joking about this even more.

[–] maniel@lemmy.ml 91 points 2 years ago (1 children)

But dictation software would omit crucial parts like ummms, coughing etc

[–] LostXOR@kbin.social 18 points 2 years ago

"crucial parts"

[–] lobut@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

I have literally given up friendships from people that wouldn't stop sending me voice messages.

I accept it from family, kids, the elderly and such. I just can't believe people want me to turn off my music and slowly listen to your shitty voice when I can easily multitask.

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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@startrek.website 19 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The dictation software we have is pretty shitty though. It almost always needs proof-read, or re-dictated several times to get it right. At that point you may as well just send an audio clip.

Until the day that dictation software gets it 100% correct, it's not going to be worth my time.

For now, the human on the other end will always have an easier time understand an audio clip than a machine, because human minds are more capable of using context and getting past regional accents.

[–] TheFriendlyDickhead@lemm.ee 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Most of the times I get a voice message it could be written in two sentences, but they still decide to make it a two minute voice message. Just a lot of useless stuff added for free

I always try to think about what I'm writing before sending it, you can't proofread an audio message

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[–] Kuori@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

maybe this sucks of me but when people do this i just don't bother listening. sorry you couldn't be assed to send a fifteen second text, i def can't be fucked to listen to a five minute ramble that's mostly filler

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[–] ______@lemm.ee 113 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Finite@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

But all the extroverted programmers will love it

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[–] Malix@sopuli.xyz 87 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

but what about programmers with problems hearing? An alternative of webcam video with sign language, pantomime and subtitles is needed!

edit: OOH! Use AI to generate the sign language videos. Could be wild, considering how good AI is at drawing hands.

[–] Haus@kbin.social 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 14 points 2 years ago (3 children)

As a severe hearing impaired developer,

Use AI to generate the sign language videos

hurt me in my fucking soul.

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[–] catherine_fish@lemm.ee 75 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Imagine spending HOURS listening your colleagues comments... I quit.

[–] whoisearth@lemmy.ca 20 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You know someone on the team (probably me) that is gonna pontificate TF out of the comment too and you're gonna get a 10 min diatribe on a 5 line function lol

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[–] Luftruessel@lemmy.world 67 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Looking at how good textual documentation works, it would probably be a 3s long note reading out the method name

[–] UpperBroccoli@feddit.de 35 points 2 years ago

Oh hahaha nooooo, it would be 15 seconds, and it would start with a sigh and deep, troubled breathing noises, a finger tapping the mic and someone saying "is this thing on" before the entirely useless comment even starts.

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago

Obviously they should be using syntactically correct JavaDoc format here so the voice messages can be converted to HTML

[–] 39Y523R@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 years ago

Don't kid yourself, it would be 15 seconds of swearing followed by 2 seconds of useless misleading info.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 66 points 2 years ago

I would enable this in my project so I can ban any contributor who submits an MR with it

[–] tetrahedron@programming.dev 63 points 2 years ago

I am deaf. i already struggle with keeping up with subtitles on tutorial videos of some obscure stuff that has little to no docs. Kindly return this idea to a void function instead and try not to catch the erroneous thread with these satanic proposals.

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 2 years ago (1 children)

All my comments would just be Rick Astley

[–] Rozauhtuno@lemmy.blahaj.zone 33 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Never gonna let = MyVariable down

[–] dukk@programming.dev 25 points 2 years ago

Never gonna MyVariable.run() around

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[–] kevincox@lemmy.ml 54 points 2 years ago

The rant comment will be forever changed.

And dare I say improved.

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 52 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Ah yes, source code files that aren't plain text and can only be opened by certain editors, exactly what the software industry needs

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[–] lauha@lemmy.one 49 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

In reality, an editor could have speech-to-text and it would transcribe the spoken comment into a comment with some tag to indicate it was a spoken comment. Then when an editor encounters such a comment, it would read it out using text-to-speech. For example

// transcript: Holy fuck what is wrong with this stupid code‽ for fucks sake! *inaudible* I've spent hours on this. I'm going to... nevermind it was a semicolon. Undo comment. Remove comment. Cancel comment.
[–] UniDestroyer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 43 points 2 years ago

You are too dangerous to be kept alive.

[–] Venus@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago

If I ever encountered a voice comment in code I would immediately track that motherfucker down and do terrible things to them

[–] bort@feddit.de 35 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

why use a resource folder for it, when you can embed a base64 encoding directly into the source file?

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 17 points 2 years ago

Yes, add this and images and svg to the markdown standard

[–] Cryan24@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago

If this existed, I would be summoned by HR after performing my first code review.

[–] maniel@lemmy.ml 29 points 2 years ago

I also like when people respond to my texts with voice memos

[–] dreugeworst@lemmy.ml 28 points 2 years ago

Yes please, I would love not being able to scan comments to see if they are relevant to what I'm trying to do

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 26 points 2 years ago

Ban this person from computers forever.

[–] peanuts4life@beehaw.org 22 points 2 years ago (2 children)

While investigating an uncovered node in some aviation datalink software, I discovered a 15 year old comment from 1993 along the lines of, "this function never runs, I'll fix it later." I wish will all my heart I could have heard their voice. Even if just for a moment.

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[–] fsniper@kbin.social 19 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I hope this is a joke and not intended to be real.

[–] zacher_glachl@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago

inb4 zoomers unironically want this

[–] itsathursday@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Do you start recording before or after you rage with expletives?

[–] MyNameIsRichard@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)
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[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 years ago

Or Base64 inside the comment text

[–] Haus@kbin.social 14 points 2 years ago

I adore the energy behind these comments.

[–] Sinonatrix@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

This is okay but only if they auto play and contain guttural screaming

[–] VonTum@programming.dev 13 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I actually like this, at least in some way it could lower the barrier for actually explaining what a function does. Though I don't see this working in an office environment

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You can’t skim an audio file, you have to listen from the beginning to the end. Audio makes symbols that are often used in programming difficult to parse or confusing. I… really dislike this

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[–] frankfurt_schoolgirl@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

As long as there's a neovim extension

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