How? How can you forgive and also use the action they did to not welcome them back into your life?
this post was submitted on 19 May 2025
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I am willing to not be angry anymore. I'll be civil if I see you in public. But I am not willing to have a relationship anymore because while I hold no ill will, I also am unwilling to risk it happening again.
I forgive you, but I don't trust you anymore. Goodbye
To forgive is not to forget, and forgiving is an act you do for yourself. Holding that anger and hate inside you isn't healthy, so forgiving them releases you of that burden.
Having forgiven them, you can still tell them to go fuck themselves with a rake for hurting you or betraying your trust.
That sounds like "no longer caring", not "forgiving".
Forgiving is deciding to move on as if you forgot even though you have not forgotten.
Then why do others ask for forgiveness? Saying "I forgive you, fuck off" isn't the answer they are looking for, and doesn't really change how I feel about them.
I don't really understand the concept. Are there people out there just seething wishing the downfall of everyone who has crossed them? Okay. Now I think I get the concept.
Just because you don't want someone in your life anymore doesn't mean you wish for their downfall? Human relationships are a complicated thing.
"I forgive you for your actions and am willing to let bygones be bygones but can't see you the same way anymore."
"I forgive you completely for the awful stuff you did, I just also think you're a piece of shit forever for doing it."
it's the liberating third option to friends and enemies
I've been listening to a podcast called The Breakup Theory ("conversations about collective liberation and ending things"). This connects really well