I’ve been in a hetero marriage for over 15 years and have reached an age where no one much cares to hear about my sexuality regardless. Talk about erasure ;D
this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
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Bisexual
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This is a community for bisexuals, their allies, friends, family, anyone curious about us or our community, or just people who want to hang out.
Bisexual means different things to different people, and I'm not going to tell you what it should mean to you. But one thing I will say is that being bisexual does NOT mean being trans-exclusionary. We love no matter what dingles, dongles, or dangles you do or do not have in your pants.
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I've had some similar experiences. My partner and I are straight presenting though my partner is trans, so I guess that is temporary. I've been told that I am straight because I have sex with women, but also told I am gay because I have sex with men. Honestly it is just bigotry pure and simple, but it can get inside your head and mess you up.
At this point in time trans people are the target of the day, but once they are dealt with the bigots will come for the bisexuals, then for the gays and lesbians. The only way to protect all of us is to band together and protect our most vulnerable members.
I totally relate. I feel like I'm outside the pride movement looking in, to the point where I've always approached it as if I WERE merely an "ally". My partner is trans! This was my first year trying to approach it as though it were about ME and not everyone I know. Still feels like stolen valor or something?
"stolen valor"
Apt analogy. Every year pride comes around I also feel like an outsider.
I didn't hear or see the words "bi[sexual]" or "pan[sexual]" all day yesterday at my local Pride event. Roughly a hundred stalls about dozens of topics, didn't come up.
Pan here, and we're in the same boat. My spouse and I are both it/them and a lot of people just decide we're being purposely obtuse for the attention.
On the upside it confuses the shit out of people because my spouse presents as conservatively feminine and I present as a flamboyantly gay man. We gush about each other vaguely so when our coworkers meet the other they're like, "how the fuck is this relationship a thing?"
I got my first "any pronouns" button yesterday!! I always felt like a jerk for telling people that, like I was making fun of the pronoun thing. It was so moving to see it printed on a pile of buttons sitting there for anyone to take and wear. I didn't even know it was a thing other people were doing until recently, I thought I was kind of on my own.
I'm in a closed poly triad (MFF) so my girlfriends who are bi finally stopped getting the comments you're talking about as they both have a M and F partner. It's sad that it took that for people to stop making those comments. It sucks that you have to have one of each partner for people to consider your bi-ness "real".
Not exactly related but I also get the "outsider" feeling when it comes to pride as I've always considered myself straight (I never would pursue a guy but if a hot guy pursued me I would probably enjoy it) and now I've gotten comments calling me "double straight" as I have two female partners. Poly isn't exactly in the LGBTQ so I definitely get the "ally" treatment.
regardless of outside views, we exist whether they like it or not. have for all time, will for all time.
Ace, and same. Also the oversexualization of the queer community adds another layer of exclusion for people like me.
I'm also in a straight relationship and, although I know myself and know that the types of attraction I do feel go any which way, and that ace people are valid members of the LGBTQIA+ community, I am always feeling all the imposter syndrome.