this post was submitted on 20 Jun 2025
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[–] MantisToboggon@lazysoci.al 21 points 1 day ago

Willingness to sleep with me is a huge red flag. Like this person has to have issues.

Being too positive. At some point, that turns into a fault. Also telling me to "stop worrying about [whatever]" doesn't mean I will.

[–] Gerudo@lemm.ee 12 points 1 day ago

Agreeing with having no kids but seeing them become obsessed with other couples' kids.

The literal week we ended up getting married, she started pressing to have kids. Lasted only a few months.

[–] LadyButterfly@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Self pity. It's one thing having a bad day or rough patch, but some people have an extraordinary need for pity. It's a big red flag

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 7 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah some people just become sympathy vacuums. They always have a "woe is me" mentality and want a ton of comforting when nothing is really wrong. (I was raised by one of these and it's draining!)

[–] LadyButterfly@lemmy.world 5 points 19 hours ago

Oh god yes... "my sock is twisted, whhhyyy meeeeee?" And your life then has to revolve around the twisted sock.

[–] redsunrise@programming.dev 4 points 23 hours ago

People don't talk about this enough. It's one thing to be an arrogant prick with self-esteem that's way too high, but the same thing goes for people with self-esteem that's way too low. In either case you're walking on eggshells around them trying to make sure you don't say the wrong thing and send them into a temper tantrum or self-pity spiral. I have a little more sympathy for the latter, but both forms are incredibly toxic imo.

Insisting on paying for others. Turned out to be a power thing.

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Ask them how their weekend was and there's always a wee mention of how either they or their SO were feeling kinda 'bleh' at some point. Every.Single.Time

[–] AGD4@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't understand this. What's wrong with feeling 'bleh'?

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 5 points 23 hours ago

I don’t understand it either, but I want to say that there’s nothing wrong with feeling bleh sometimes.

Mentioning it every time, though, is a bit much. The underlying problem most likely isn’t something your friend or coworker is qualified to handle. If you’re aware enough to know there’s a problem, then do something about it. If you have a toothache, you don’t fix it by mentioning it to everyone within earshot. You go to a dentist.

[–] LadyButterfly@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Oh that's a good one

Coworker. He just straight up said “no” to helping me stock the storage room (which was our job). Otherwise was a real nice guy.

Turns out he was a flakey prick and he left me in a lurch while we were out of town for work.

[–] kaeurenne@hubbub.kupiapps.xyz -5 points 12 hours ago

I don't know what red flag I miss... I hate all of them including me being bullied communally