So I finally found out why every fucking update for this game takes for-fucking-ever despite being installed on an SSD. Basically, it requires free size on the drive equal to the entire size of the game to install an update. If there isn't that much space on the drive, it defaults to your secondary drive, which in my case is an "old" platter HDD to complete the installation.
So a 30mb update comes out for this game, which I don't even really play anymore, and Steam takes 45 minutes to install it.
Basically, the moment I need that space for another game, this game is on the chopping block. It isn't even fun anymore.