Unironically philosophical
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2023
1125 points (97.1% liked)
Memes
45581 readers
1 users here now
Rules:
- Be civil and nice.
- Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
Farts are universally funny. Like sex jokes, they transcend time and language.
In fact, the oldest joke we have discovered was a fart joke:
Something which has never occurred since time immemorial... A young woman did not fart in her husband's lap.
Compare that to a different joke from about 200 years later:
A dog entered into a tavern and said, 'I cannot see anything. I shall open this one
It doesn't matter where or when you're from, nor does it matter what language you speak, farts are funny and will continue to be funny forever.
I used perplexity to find some more ancient fart jokes
One example of an ancient fart joke can be found in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. In the Miller’s Tale, two characters, Nicholas and Absalom, are competing for the same girl. Nicholas decides to humiliate his rival by waiting at the window for Absalom to beckon the girl. Just when he does, Nicholas lets out a fart with a noise as loud as a clap of thunder, almost overcoming Absalom with its force.
Another example from classical times appeared in "Apocolocyntosis" or "The Pumpkinification of Claudius," a satire attributed to Seneca on the late Roman emperor. In this text, a character named Nicholas lets out a fart as great as a thunderclap, which almost blinds the person struck by it.
The medieval Latin joke book "Facetiae" by Poggio Bracciolini also includes six tales about farting, although the specific jokes are not detailed in the search results
I’m assuming the bread pumpernickel which literally means “farting Nicholas” must be related to these jokes. Why does Nicholas always fart?
If I find your farts funny then I'm scaling the current level of joy per fart. We can have an import / export scheme. My gross domestic product is outrageous.
Fart Vandalay.
Are you suggesting something like the tin cans with a string in the middle, but replacing the string with a hose. We're gonna need some government subsidies on our farts because eventually one of us is going to overproduce and kill the other in a horrific explosion.
... Fart-splosion? What a way to go.
I always blame mine on the cat.
I blame mine on the hamsters.
I had to gradually buy about 95 to make it seem plausible but I got there in the end.
The great thing that 95 hamsters and farting so much that you need 95 hamsters have in common is that visitors already know exactly what they're in for based on the smell.
I actually only needed the volumetric farts of about 15 hamsters.
However, I thought it's not realistic to have them all fart at the same time, so I kept buying more.
Eventually it was a big enough group that it seemed more statistically plausible that 15 of them farted in unison.
I feed them beer and cheese and beans to increase the hypothetical flatulence interval of each hamster.
Also I have found, adding "I don't know, maybe something startled them and some of them... Went off" helps. I could buy a few more hamsters instead, but times are hard.
Shit Emily, that's deep.
God I love this comment section
Same logic applies to murder.
Who said murder wasn't funny?
Idk! You can't even spell slaughter without laughter
The most concise and convincing argument about any topic ever.
not necessarily the same number of farts though. think about it; if you are known as being pro-fart and think farts are funny, farters are going to gravitate to you and are going to fart at you. if you're vehemently anti-fart and make that clear to people around you, they won't feel comfortable farting around you. these fart lovers ain't tricking me again. keep your bodily gasses to yourself at all times
One could argue if you have those "not playing along" vibes in general on top of the flatulophobia, they might go out of their way to keep them in and seek you out just for extra fun. Behold how the funny stacks:
Fart
undesired fart
undesired stealth fart
undesired stealth fart one cannot really address
undesired stealth fart nobody can really address with a layer of spite and schadenfreude
And don't forget the adrenalin junkies trying to get away with farting on fart karens
This new information has changed my mind on this topic
There he is! Come on, angry mob, let's all fart on this heathen!
I've found my people
Your poople.
I read this while farting.