this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2025

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News from the other side (infosec.pub)

submitted 2 weeks ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@piefed.world to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world

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[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 83 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Good news everyone!

My heart has stopped a couple of times now... if nobody had actually told me, I never would have known. I have an implant that watches for that now.

Me, waking up in the hospital, fiddling around on my phone. Nurse comes in.

"Hey, were you asleep about an hour ago?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Your heart stopped for 8 seconds."

"Um... 'thank you'? I don't know the correct response to 'your heart stopped'. Wait, shouldn't the alarms have gone off? I don't remember hearing anything."

"Oh, they go off at the nurses station."

[–] Grandwolf319@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You could have answered:

“How do you know it wasn’t just beating at 8bpm?”

For context, normal resting is like 40-60

[–] REDACTED 1 points 2 weeks ago

For context, normal resting is like 40-60

No it's not. That's a resting rate for athletes, which does not really fall under "normal", normally that would be this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradycardia

It can be a pretty serious heart problem.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Would your heart stopping for eight seconds cause you to lose consciousness?

[–] SorryQuick@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 weeks ago

Pretty sure it would, or at least be close. The brain loses consciousness after 5 to 15 seconds without oxygen.

[–] seraphine@lemmy.blahaj.zone 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

this is a heck of a motivation to live

[–] Mk23simp@lemmy.blahaj.zone 59 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Or is it motivation to die at the peak of your health?

[–] 14th_cylon@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

or is it a motivation to make sure you go to hell?

[–] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Or is heaven hell?

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Sounds like it could be. In drugged out bliss and thrall to a god in its domain. No change, no learning…nothing except stasis until the end of time.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

At least in Christian theology, that's not heaven. Heaven will generally be like earth but without the bad stuff.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pity they’d rather set this Earth on fire in a rush to get to the next one.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Who are "they"

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The accelerationists.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Accelerationism is a range of ideologies that call for the use of processes such as capitalism and technological change in order to create radical social transformations.

Right-wing extremists such as neo-fascists, neo-Nazis, white nationalists and white supremacists have used the term to refer to an acceleration of racial conflict through assassinations, murders and terrorist attacks as a means to violently achieve a white ethnostate.

What has this got to do with Christian Theology 😭

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 1 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

In the US quite a bit these days. The far right supply-side Jesus accelerationists are gunning for total collapse of the system, and if that’s their religious armageddon, they’re fine with that.

’ Accelerationism’ refers to the spreading far-right and evangelical belief that we’re in or nearing the ‘end times,’ and that our society is SO corrupt and immoral that it all needs to be torn down and totally replaced ASAP.

https://medium.com/equality-includes-you/what-the-heck-is-accelerationism-and-why-is-it-so-dangerous-1fbada4f1679

That’s obviously a certain segment’s take on accelerationism, but nonetheless it exists.

[–] Flax_vert@feddit.uk -1 points 2 weeks ago

’ Accelerationism’ refers to the spreading far-right and evangelical belief that we’re in or nearing the ‘end times,’ and that our society is SO corrupt and immoral that it all needs to be torn down and totally replaced ASAP.

That's Jesus' job. I think a lot of false theology is being pushed these days (Zionism is another prime example, as well as the literal rapture theology).

The white supremacists will be shocked if Jesus came today. There will be more Africans and Asians meeting Him in the sky than White people- and the supremacists will be watching it from the ground!

[–] Catpurple@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It always sounded awful. But I don't even think it's that, because as far as I'm concerned, if god is anything besides made up, there's no way it doesn't just slowly consume souls of the dead.

Easy food, just subsist off the faithful and keep the train going for thousands of years with infighting and a strong drive to proselytize non-believers. Some kind of cosmic horror shit or something, gotta be.

Edit: But to be clear, I'm not trying to imply anyone following this or other religions is wrong or anything, or that I actually believe this (I'm in the "it's made up" camp), I just think cosmic horror is neat and love overthinking :3

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 2 weeks ago

Why would you need food if you are literaly infinite? Cmon, could even just spawn food.

[–] RedStrider@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

so you think you can tell

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Blue skies from pain

[–] XTL@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemmy.zip 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse

[–] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

You should say something else

[–] BigBananaDealer@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

if youre physically active every single day you will always be at the peak of your health

[–] cogitase@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 weeks ago

Neither de-age nor wear clothes

[–] mesamunefire@piefed.social 15 points 2 weeks ago

They also don't have internet. Enjoy shitposting while you can!

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If that's Heaven, I wonder what Hell is like.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

In hell, you never, ever get to know what your grandparents looked like naked. Even if they're there. Even if you ask. Doesn't matter. Answer is no.

[–] whaleross@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

The finale of Martyrscome to mind.

[–] Soktopraegaeawayok@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

This comic sucks...