this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2025
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[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I have found lots of guys don't want to date anyone as tall or taller than them (or one guy who fetishized it, which was so not better) it's certainly not just women driving this preference.

But can't say that being tall as a lady has ever really kept me from finding partners, and the short guys I know in real life also do fine, so I think this is usually more of a weak preference not a criteria.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

because most people believe in trad gender roles. man is big and tall and strong. woman is smaller and weaker.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 12 hours ago

It's funny though - a guy my size is still stronger than me and guys shorter than me often still outmass me and are stronger than me, it's strange that it's so hyperfocused on height.

Husband is my height but outweighs me by 50-60lb and can lift 2x what I can on my best day. I'm literally smaller and weaker, lol, despite being neither small nor weak.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 79 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I don't get these guys. My wife is a couple inches taller than me and it... just doesn't matter? If anything it puts my face closer to the boobies, so what's the problem?

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 41 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Guys are being spoonfed by the monosphere the narrative that if they're 1cm too short or 1kg too heavy, women immediately despise them.

It keeps them trapped in a self fulfilling cycle of despair and watching mysoginist grifter content online.

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 41 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (7 children)

I mean, that's actually what happens though. Two weeks ago my wife and I were setting up two friends of ours on a blind date, and literally her first question was "how tall is he?" She of course got pissy when I asked what I should tell him if he asked about her weight.

The manosphere is only able to capitalize on this rhetoric because it's largely based in truth. Hashtag not all women, but enough of them for practically every guy under six feet to have a rejection story for being too short.

To act like stuff like this isn't happening to guys daily is being willfully ignorant, and not working to change this culture is only going to drive more men to the horrible people who at least acknowledge that their problems are real.

[–] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

something like 80% of single women are looking for a man who is taller, rich, and pays for all her dates like it's the 1950s.

And only 50% of single men want that kind of relationship. So there is a huge gap. Men are actaully more progressive/feminist when it comes to dating than most women are.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't get why height specifically anyway?

[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I honestly don't either - it's probably just as arbitrary and socialized as boob size preferences. Maybe someone here with a background in sociology or anthropology can shed some light?

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 4 days ago

I do wonder. It seems really important to women. Probably the whole stereotype of what a man should be, and a man being small ruins it for them instantly.

[–] Denjin@feddit.uk 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Of course some women dismiss men who are shorter than them, there are also men who dismiss women because their tits are too small or too big or a myriad other reasons.

The manosphere manipulates that and has used it to warp the minds and self worth of an entire generation slightly ugly or slightly short guys who are all perfectly capable of finding a partner and having deeply meaningful relationships with others.

Good luck "changing the culture" though, whatever that means.

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[–] e8d79@discuss.tchncs.de 47 points 4 days ago (2 children)

If this bunny can date a girl bunny four times its size, you can date a woman a few centimeters taller.

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[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 36 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Bro if I could only find a woman who’s like >2m…

I would love to be the little spoon for once :(

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You can be the little spoon even when you are much taller than your partner ;)

[–] AnarchoEngineer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I’m not sure it’s really spooning if she can’t bend at the hips because the end of my back is far below them and basically at the height of her knees. Not sure having to lay down completely straight is a comfortable position lol

I suppose a short girl could spoon me traditionally if she wants to be facing my lower back but that’s not really what I want either

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (4 children)

When I spoon my partner, we match hips and my face is somewhere between their shoulder blades

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[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It’s called jetpacking

What I do it put my knees fully into their knees and wrap my torso around their butt, arms around their waist/low chest. I only reach half way up their back (I’m smol) but they love having my head rest against the middle of their back.

But I want a very tall person to cuddle with me so that I can feel smol :(

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I know the solution....get off 4 chan

[–] UnrepententProcrastinator@lemmy.ca 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It's hard to find a community that agrees with you when you say that you are a loser.

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Much easier to not be a loser when not on 4chan

[–] daggermoon@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (6 children)

Do people actually care about height?

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 days ago

No idea, but whenever I tried using dating apps, there were fields in the profile for height, so the developers must think that someone cares.

[–] Saryn@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

It's worth considering that we might not have a choice in the matter, at least as far as the subconscious is concerned.

[–] Crashumbc@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Yes, especially among more shallow groups...

Although you're not allowed to talk about it, it may even be a biologically sought trait. One of those animal things we act like we evolved past.

(In before a thousand comments about this one guy being shorter disproving... Oh wait)

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Some do (prefers tall), some do (prefers short), some don't care either way, which is the case for pretty much any trait. Even serial killers get fanmail from people who get horny from that kind of thing.

Though the distribution isn't neutral (as in the average pop might prefer it one way over the other).

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[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 8 points 4 days ago

I fail to see the problem.

[–] AI_toothbrush@lemmy.zip 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

My gf is shorter than me by a a few centimeters(maybe like an inch for you americans) but she wears heels so she seems taller and thats a postitive if you ask me.

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[–] rumschlumpel@feddit.org 15 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Or when you like men who are the same height or shorter than you ... but are quite short yourself. I assume many tall heterosexual women aren't happy with their height, either.

Either way it doesn't matter if you literally never go out to meet people.

[–] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 days ago

I interpreted those as tears of pure joy and I refuse to believe any other interpretation.

[–] _lilith@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

cant figure out if Annon has too much Tormund energy or not enough

[–] Fleur_@aussie.zone 5 points 4 days ago

Wear high heels

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 5 points 4 days ago

6'6'' and I only ever get like 1 girl to even talk to me on an app to every 10 dudes that actually meet me.

[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I mean I actually got a date. So I can't be that ugly.

But I am almost definitely pretty damn autistic.

[–] Tonava@sopuli.xyz 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Hey I am ugly and autistic, and still have been in a long-term relationship for years. Some people just are into it

I was married for 12 years.

I made a mistake with that, so yeah. Kinda fucked myself over with it. Didnt actually start learning Bout the 'tism part until recently

[–] malware@lemmy.zip 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Same. 2m tall and get 0 sweethearts. Therapy wasn't much help with anxiety caused by this. It is really painful, knowing that I'll be forever alone. Contemplating taking an easy way out since September.

[–] Eq0@literature.cafe 13 points 5 days ago

My partner is almost 2m tall. The have often complained that their size easily scares people off. I’m sorry about the anxiety. It sucks.

I believe the world is better with you in it. If you want to chat, I’m available.

[–] starman2112@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 days ago (4 children)
[–] Honytawk@feddit.nl 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Yeah but Danny DeVito is charisma incarnate

Part of him being charisma incarnate is having exactly zero fucks to give about how his appearance differs from conventional attractiveness.

Part of the incel anticharisma comes from obsessing over how some facet of your appearance means never getting laid.

Turns out just being chill about shit is sexy AF.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 6 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

But she's about the same height as him, and calls him "The Barnacle" due to his penis::body ratio.

[–] LittleBorat3@lemmy.world 3 points 3 days ago

He is also well known around the world

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