My mother was really upset when she discovered my nephews were uncircumcised. Just ridiculously upset. She went off about the whole thing, squawking to family members how horrible it was that her grandkids don’t have their penises properly mangled and I’m guessing nobody in the family agreed with her take so she came to me about it.
I’m not really a roll-with-it kind of guy. If she’s being crazy, I call her out. So she usually tries to get her fix elsewhere. But that day she came to me with this so it looks like her little penis snit isn’t generating the response she wanted.
Mom: “Can you believe they didn’t do that? They are terrible parents! Don’t you think that’s weird?”
(This was a while ago so I’m paraphrasing but the point is my mother asked for my opinion on something that involves neither of us. Buckle up.)
Me: “I think it’s weird you are upset about the aesthetics of a child’s penis.”
Mom: “It will look weird!”
Me: “You had me circumcised as a kid. It still looks weird. Penises are just weird. So what?”
Mom: “But they will look different from the other kids.”
Me: “So what? It’s genitalia, not an HOA.”
Mom: “I don’t understand why they wouldn’t do it though.”
Me: “Let’s look at this differently. You are upset a medical procedure that is unnesscarry isn’t being forced on a child. So let’s say it is considered normal for a woman to have a single breast. They naturally have two but that’s just weird so when a girl is born, she is strapped down and breast tissue is removed from one side of her chest. Best to do it when they are too young to remember, which is great because you don’t anesthetize them or put them under since that’s too risky for a child. There are some deaths but it’s usually fine so nobody cares. This is NORMAL so it’s fine.
In this scenario, a parent decides they don’t want their daughter subjected to that and opt out. She can get it done as an adult if she wants, you aren’t taking options away, you’re giving her a choice regarding her body she can make herself when she’s older. Nobody’s forcing anything on anyone.
How do you feel about this scenario?”
Mom: (looks up from Facebook on her phone) “are you threatening me?”
She’s always like this. Anything she disagrees with is a threat somehow. Considering I agree with her on fuck all, I must be a terrifying figure to her.