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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Glowing_Trash_Panda on 2025-11-19 22:35:55+00:00.
So last night I got drunk & was hungry (& lazy) & I’ve had bites of raw crescent roll dough before & everything was fine, so I ate some last night. I put what I didn’t eat in a ziplock & I’m gonna turn that into dumplings later. Well I got to wake up this morning to the most excruciating stomach pains I’ve ever had, even worse than my period cramps that will sometimes drop me to the floor. AND IT JUST HAS NOT STOPPED ALL DAY LONG!
I feel like I wanna die. I keep burping & everytime I think the pain is finally over, a couple minutes later it starts back up again. It’s mainly in the epigastric area & as a former paramedic I was worried I was having an inferior MI at first cuz the pain was so bad & I could barely breathe. Then I remembered what I ate last night. I figured I would just fight through it & it would go away after a few hours but no, it’s 4pm now & I thought it was done but after I tried taking a sip of water that set off the pain again.
Tl;dr- For the love of whatever you find holy, don’t eat raw crescent dough- especially like a quarter of the tube of it.