this post was submitted on 19 Oct 2023
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[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 143 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (5 children)

No, you are not. these people must've masturbated, hence they're sinful.

[–] GargleBlaster@lemmy.world 72 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Or they wore mixed fabric clothing, so they're basically satan

[–] Wolfen@lemmy.world 43 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Lifebandit666@feddit.uk 7 points 2 years ago
[–] Gnugit@aussie.zone 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Wait, so all this time I should have been going full denim?

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 18 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Including your underpants. And socks.

[–] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 8 points 2 years ago
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[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 24 points 2 years ago (4 children)

But you just created them. The whole of their lives they have been tied to that track the way a character is trapped in the holodeck. When have they had time to sin?

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 42 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

According to the 20 commandments that i just made up-

drop one stone tablet

10 commandments that i just made up, thou shall not question the decision of god, hereby you're sinned.

[–] Wolfen@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Nice reference drop there.

[–] Nepenthe@kbin.social 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Even Jesus said imagining adultery is the same as committing it. They can still think, ergo they are worthy of punishment

[–] Risk@feddit.uk 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

So... Christianity has thought crimes?

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 8 points 2 years ago

Property is theft in the same way that religion is sin

[–] letsgo@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No. What he was saying is that everything you do starts off as a thought. So instead of policing your own actions, police your own thoughts and don't entertain the bad ones when they enter your mind. Then when the opportunity presents itself - let's say she indicates she's up for a quickie behind the bike sheds, if you've already been fantasising about all the different scenarios you're much more likely to take her up on it than if you haven't. Therefore you should consider thinking about adultery as being just as bad as the act itself, even though it really isn't.

[–] SpiderShoeCult@sopuli.xyz 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

so... thought crimes then?

[–] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 4 points 2 years ago

Absolutely.

[–] noobdoomguy8658@feddit.de 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

*Suddenly, you find yourself together with the people on the tracks.*

[–] EmpathicVagrant@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

-embrace sweet death

[–] Sonotsugipaa@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 years ago

They should just repent for existing, if they can't even do that they're basically just asking for the train

[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 16 points 2 years ago

I sin multiple times per day but it's ok because I always make sure to kill god first.

[–] MonkderZweite@feddit.ch 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Aren't they from birth sinful?

[–] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Imminent death and dismemberment is my kink

the simulation we are all trapped in resets as they now need to include a provision that no weird af kinks screw up the test

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 93 points 2 years ago (1 children)

And then when they all believe, you change the rules because you accidentally spawned to many people.

God: "I can only save some of you!"

People: "How many?"

God: "Twelve.."

People: "Twelve?!? But there are many more of us"

God: "Times 12..."

People: "144?!? But there are still many more!"

God:"... thousand."

People "Oh lord, I'm one of those 144000, right?"

God: "Of course you are my dear".

Other people:"...but you already saved more than 144000 before we were even born?"

God:" yeah well, just believe me OK?"

[–] Spiralvortexisalie@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] killeronthecorner@lemmy.world 28 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's amazing that there are so many different interpretation. Religious people have such creative imaginations.

[–] Kiosade@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I’m reading a fictional book series where a character in the first few books literally becomes the new god… then the later books take place a few hundred years later, and you see how the new god laid everything out for the people, and gave them books on how to prosper and all this valuable info… and STILL these idiots ended up forming various competing religions, full of BS!

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[–] Mercival@lemm.ee 30 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I mean, the trolley obviously can't fit under the bridge, so this seems like a mass murder/suicide scenario.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Using the power of beyblade!

[–] EvolvedTurtle@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Me when I split the sea with a bayblade

[–] eatham@aussie.zone 14 points 2 years ago

What if the trolley can shrink when going under the bridge

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 30 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What if they accept that I'm the creator of the situation but I still don't save them as I promised?

[–] radioactiveradio@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago

You have a plan, that doesn't involve them. And it was all for good.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago (1 children)

When a creator does it, the word is "ineffable". Just like how when I'm rich, I'll become eccentric.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Nah, fuck that. I'm eccentric now. What's a rich guy going to do about it?

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

They'll be beside themselves if this ever gets out. They might be driven to buy multiple motor yachts that they'll never even clap eyes on, to cope with that

[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 26 points 2 years ago

No no no, doesn't stop there.

Then you created a business, run by your most....devout... followers, they'll manage the business.

You pay them to collect money for you, and um, teach them the ways and make sure they bring their families and friends in.

You tell them they are all horrible people who will suffer in eternity unless they worship you and thank you that they were born.

Then your managers, they meet with all your followers and ~~shake them down~~ tell them how important it is to fund the business.

It's a very complex thing really being the creator of the universe and having to have people start a business to fund..um...worshiping you....

[–] ThePac@lemmy.ml 15 points 2 years ago

For this to be more accurate you need to take the "God" out of the image entirely.

[–] BuboScandiacus@mander.xyz 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 years ago

Of course that is not something I could judge by myself. You will have to ask the people in the situation and see what they will answer of their own free will.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago

Substitute the trolley for a tornado, the tracks for homes, the deity killing randomly with said tornado, and the survivors thanking deity for their survival (and their neighbors’ deaths).

Not a good analogy? Of course it isn’t. God doesn’t exist, and if he does, he’s perfectly happy killing you and destroying your family for no reason whatsoever, and your neighbors will thank him for doing so.

[–] EnlightenMe@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Evil is a dumb term. The word they are looking for is "responsible".

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[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 6 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And then here comes Cormac McCarthy (RIP) to shit all over your idea of some benevolent god, to give you a real sense of how chaotically brutal the reality of life actually is, to question autonomy and the very notion of free-will, and to maybe, as a side-effect of literature, to make you think twice about everything you've assumed about the world.

Gonna miss that guy.

I don't know why the Nobel asswipes didn't give him the recognition he deserved.

My guess is that his work was too "American" for their tastes.

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