Mental Health

Im coming to your funeral homie

I am not quite qualified to answer your question. My simplest guess is that those tropes make money because they trigger something in people, affect dopamine production or whatever and in turn make more money? Idk.

Anyway, your post made me think of a Japanese girl (one of the two girls who made the duet Namakopuri that made some soundtracks for the game Cyberpunk 2077. After "disbanding", she continued to use the duet's YouTube channel, on which she later announced that she is doing a 生前葬 (for non hanzi/kanji readers: "a pre-death funeral"). To concept was so crazy for me at first. But just like some others commented on your post, maybe it's about creating good memories with people that matter to you. In that sense, I understand why a pre-death funeral could be nice: you decide how to do it, who to invite, etc.

Movies are movies. They are largely trying to move along a plot and convey the thoughts of the writers for the purpose of the movie and its intentions to make you feel a certain way. They are not a reflection on real life but sometimes they can be an insight to the writers at times.

Usually the best way to find out how people feel is to start a conversation with them. If you want to know certain answers to questions it’s also worth exploring why you want to find out, as that might also be a way to get to what you are seeking without the conversations themselves.

I wouldn’t to get too hung up on what you see or think is a trope, there’s no expectations on you to be a certain way to anyone. You do you, and let others deal with how that makes them feel. I am sure people do care about you and you don’t have to wait until your funeral to find out.

Everything is temporary as well, so trust the power of time as it’s the one thing no one can control. Time heals all, even within you, whether you like it or not, tomorrow is another day and another version of you will look at everything from a different perspective. Hang in there.

Everyone dies. Every king, queen, emperor, pope, whatever, who has come before, say, the previous century, no matter how rich, no matter how pious — they all died. And so will we all when it is our time.

My family does not do funerals. We do celebrations of life. So, while you are still alive, give your family memories to celebrate when your time comes.

The Netflix series Thirteen Reasons Why was about what you're talking about. People regretting how they treated you. The show is flat-out wrong. The only reason those characters care at all is because of the tapes spreading the gossip around. The show glorifies a teenage girl taking her own life by showing everybody react to it and regretting it and being sad and all this other stuff. In reality (especially without those damning tapes), only Clay would really mourn her (the main boy) and the rest of them would enjoy the days off from school, use the mental health services as a way to get out of classes, stuff like that. The ones who mistreated her, the ones who ignored her, and even most of the ones who liked her, would forget about her before too long.

So make them care. The people who matter. Recognise who they are and make good memories with them. The people who don't matter? Either make them care, or focus on the ones who do.

Also, once you're gone, it doesn't matter what others think, because you'll be gone. Even if you're a Christian, I don't recall the Bible saying your loved ones in Heaven can come visit. It's not like they're watching you. They only live in memory. And like they say, there's three sides to every story (actually, more — every one of us is an entirely different person to each person who knows us) so it's not even a true memory. But it's the best we have, followed by photographic/video record.

So live your best life. Focus on what you can change, not what you can't.