The term "incel" was actually created by a woman and she was referring to herself. I guess social media and/or MSM liked it more as a derogatory term for men. But women can definitely fall into the same toxic mentality that men can.
this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2023
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Unpopular Opinion
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Derogatory term? I thought people who considered themselves painfully involuntary celibate used it as a self descriptor and formed harmless communities initially. It has now become affiliated with an extreme ideology a certain violent offshoot that has overtaken the use of the term.
alt-right 4chan shitdicks co-opted 'incel' and ruined a lot of actually supportive communities with their BS, just like every other fucking thing they co-op.
Simply having impossible, hypocritical standards does not make an incel.
expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day
Those are the worst, they hope to catch a man that they can pull down to their level.
See, no one would give a shit about incels if they quietly kept to themselves.
Unfortunately, incels tend to commit and encourage rape and murder.
Are the women you know murdering or raping men?
No?
Then it's a them problem.
I've seen actual femcel communities on Reddit and they certainly don't keep quietly to themselves. But whether there are more of them or if they are equally violent.. No idea. Don't really want to compare or know more to be honest.
Okay, but there's 'not keeping quietly to thenselves' and then there's the litany of literal crimes that male incels are known for.
They are not as violent, no. The raw numbers speak for themselves; the overwhelming majority of murders are committed by men. The overwhelming majority of men that are sexually assaulted are sexually assaulted by men. There are certainly women that complain about men, and say that 'all men want it', and such. But the raw numbers of women that commit murders or sexually assault men, are very low.
Are there some women who have higher standards than they, themselves, live up to - sure. But that's not what makes an incel.
An incel is someone who believes:
- People of my preferred gender kind of suck, mostly
- Despite mostly sucking, people of my preferred gender tend to have high standards <-- you are here
- Those high standards exclude me, and I think that's unfair; it makes me angry that they won't give me the chance I deserve.
- I'm tired of playing nice when none of them will give me the chance I deserve. I've written their entire gender off as trash, and my new hobby is constantly berating them.
People rarely say #3 and #4 out loud, so once you're at #2 -- which you are -- people are going to start making some assumptions.
And yes, there are some women past #3 and #4 themselves, sure. We've all heard the occasional "men are pigs," and that kind of intolerance shouldn't be accepted no matter who it comes from. But it's absolutely not many/most of us, and if you think so, you're either being overly critical or surrounding yourself with the wrong kinds of friends - both of which are on you and show you need to de-incel your thinking before you go off the deep end.
I think the discussion would be clearer if you defined what you think incel beliefs are? The typical description I know of is, "Members of my preferred gender refuse to have sex with me because there is something wrong with them, and it's their fault that I'm lonely." It looks like here the assumed definition is, "I'm happy being alone unless someone extremely desirable comes along," which imo is the opposite of incel behavior.
The reason you are getting called an incel here is likely because, by characterizing the latter opinion as something wrong with "so many" women when it is merely a lack of interest in dating most men, you start to come dangerously close to expressing the former opinion yourself.
Well, I'll give it to you. This is actually a suitable post for this community.
while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.
This is the most incel thing i've read in a while. I don't know a single woman like this. If you do, you're hanging around with the wrong crowd and that's on you. If you don't then you're just eating up incel bullshit to feel better about your own lackings.
Yeah I’m a woman who dates women and the closest thing I’ve ever seen to that with even a little frequency is disabled women and stay at home moms who try to get out and spend basically all day in household labor. And honestly they’ve all had reasonable standards for partners.
Like I’m sure some women like this exist, and I’ve seen FDS over on Reddit. But just don’t date them. The FDS folks are frequently mocked and condemned. And I think their expectations of partners are ludicrous and that they have a lot of the same beliefs as incels, but they aren’t complaining about no men wanting to fuck them last I saw, mostly they were talking about how women need their insane standards and shouldn’t date without them. Which like, whatever if that’s what it takes for a relationship with you have fun, it sure sounds like you don’t actually want a relationship though, just money and status.
Incels were a joke until they started spreading far right bullshit and raping and shooting people. FDS is a joke now, if they break containment or start engaging in mass shootings then we can start comparing them.
The worst part is, calling out this inequality will 100% get any man labeled as an incel. We’re expected to either deal with it or be alone forever.
There's a reason your "opinion" is being labeled as that of an incel. It's because it's 100% Pure Grade A Incel Bullshit^tm
I think you just confirmed what he said and not how you think you did. lol
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"Women have unrealistic standards" is essentially the incel ethos for existence. OP is just one sentence short of calling them "Stacey".
Harsh
Having taken some time to consider this, I do think it's both unpopular and wrong.
Yes, some women have ridiculous standards that make no sense, as do some men. I do agree women may be more likely to have hypocritical standards, because (at least for casual relationships) men do seem to have fewer standards.
But that doesn't mean they are involuntarily celibate. It means they are voluntarily celibate. They aren't saying that guys/women they want are rejecting them, they are saying they have standards that can't be met.
Well, I don't read that the woman you know hate men and constantly complain about them not living up to their standards. So I guess there are some steps missing to an Incel. Right now it just seems they have, although very specific, standards on who they wan't to date. If that's not realistic it's their problem and they have to deal with it.
By the way, I'm pretty out of the loop on this Incel thing. I try to keep out of the social media circles who constantly blame the other gender for the things they should do better or have done. Generalizations help nobody
Sweetie. Honey. Dear...
calling out this inequality will 100% get any man labeled as an incel. We’re expected to either deal with it or be alone forever.
There is a reason you keep hearing this phrase, this entire line of thinking is incely as heck. Having standards is not an incel trait, but being angry at women and thinking you are "forever alone" because of those standards sure as heck is! You are making a giant stra-woman just so you can be angry at it. People can have whatever standards they like and their "hypocrisy" is not your concern, but being upset at those standards is just wishing women would settle for less.
For example, women living with parents while expecting men to have their own place, women who are obese but are only interested in fit men, working part time while expecting a man who has a career, refusing to drive and expecting men to chauffeur them around, expecting men to have a variety of friends and interests while doing nothing but watching TV all day, etc.
Acknowledging the right to bodily autonomy doesn't automatically make you a feminist. Thinking women want to be chauffeured around, waited on, contribute nothing and be obese is boiler plate misogyny. This post sounds like it was wrote in the 50's, back in the good 'ole days before women wanted too much!