Having autism can be quite difficult. We are all in this together. There are people like you going though the same things you just have to know where to look.
this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2023
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Autism
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What exactly do you mean by no one understanding you?
what you just said to me, you don't even understand me.
You can't expect people to understand if you don't explain π€·.
I can't fully explain stuff well
Well, if you don't try, we can't help.
I don't have autism, but I am kinda weird, so I think I could (maybe) help, but you have to explain things.
I'm bad at it
π€·
You have to start talking man, otherwise we can't help.
EDIT: Sorry, just realized you're a woman π.
:( π
Oh, come on, can't be that bad π. I live with a person I can't stand, and I have to do it for at least another 14 or 15 years, beat that π.
Being understood is difficult. I find I'm very intense when it comes to something I'm into. And I talk in long sentences or type walls of text. Those can make it hard for people to respond or interact.
Sometimes you just have to do you and do it with pride.
Huh? What are you trying to say? :/ Sorry I was deliberately being an azzhole. I feel the same way you do. But, I stopped caring a long time ago. I never did fit in with other people, and I was never anyone's idea of what a human should be. So, fuck 'em and forget 'em. I'm loving the life I was given, I'm gifted and have traits that make me unique. And I love being who I am, and that's all that really matters. And I kind of like the fact that I get under other people's skin just by existing. It kind of gives me a greater purpose.
Don't have autism (at least, I don't think so π), but yeah, I rarely fit into crowds as well. The funny thing is, people usually like me (I'm kinda the clown of the party, but that's just who I am), but I rarely like them. I don't avoid contact, at all, but if, let's say, I exchange numbers with someone, chances are I won't call you. I just feel like I don't belong in that particular crowd... don't know why, I just fell that.
If you want people to understand you, you have to communicate with them what you want them to understand. Explicitly. Don't drop hints or clues, you have to say it outright. People are not mind readers, or even experts in non verbal communication, not even NTs.
Hopefully the person you convey your feelings to is compassionate and empathetic. Be prepared for if they aren't though. Don't be afraid to just drop these kinds of people like a shit in the toilet. Just wipe, flush and walk away. They don't deserve your time.
That's good advice. I had to learn that the hard way.
Just because something seems obvious or clear to me, doesn't mean it does to others. It gets exhausting having to explain everything though. It's also equally exhausting to ask others to explain what the hell they're talking about constantly, because they also assume you can read their mind and have the exact same thoughts and reactions that they do.
And then you run into the issue with family or coworkers completely ignoring the things you directly do or say, and throwing their own bizarre interpretations and assumed motivations on top of it, and getting upset when you react.
I've had people do and say things that are insulting and combative out of the blue on first time I've interacted with them all day, demand I reply, and then get upset of me for starting a fight when I ask why they are being rude, or when I reply in kind.
Maybe I just keep bad company, but it feels like being gaslit 24/7.
Yeah, it's difficult sometimes. My friends sometimes don't seem to get me sometimes but sharing common interest(s) seems to work. Playing games together even if not directly interacting (eg both of us on the same Minecraft server but me building a base and them exploring/mining or playing separate empires in a friendly game of Civilization or Stellaris)
I seem to understand you just fine, whatβs up?
I feel like that too sometimes. It's an overwhelming, lonely, and hopeless feeling that is nearly unbearable. I just end up isolating myself through those times. It can help in the moment so that I don't react in a way that hurts others or my relationship with them, but if I stay isolated for too long, I get even more sad and lonely. It also doesn't give me an opportunity to find people that may understand me, which makes sense at the time because I'm already convinced that no one will anyway. I'm sorry you're going through that, but I'm happy you felt comfortable enough to share here.
If you haven't already, maybe consider joining our chat when you feel better. We have a room specifically for venting and seeking help from each other, along with other rooms for lighter topics. I hope to see you there π
I don't think expecting people to understand you is the right mind set. You have to understand them first, why they're unable to see what you want them to see and guide them to understanding.
Easier said than done but my point is that we shouldn't blame others for our own inadequacies
I don't think I have autism either, but I'm just different. I like most people, but most people do not like me and I have no idea why. I'm as nice as can be, and don't have angry outbursts or unpleasant habits and I'm very friendly. I'm just not most people's idea of what a guy should be, though i don't know why. I'm not effeminate or anything, and if I were, I don't see anything wrong with that anyway. I just don't fit into their ideal picture of what a person should be for some reason. But, I do have good friends who are loyal and I do have plenty of fun just doing what I do - so it's all OK.
I find in life that some people get me and some people donβt. I try to surround myself with people that do understand me. I know Iβm different, but everyone is different. Just have to find the right kind of different. :-)
mood
I can't read all of them but I can tell you're being very helpful :D
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