I'm watching my mind as I go through the morning, out of it, head in a fishtank feeling; a membrane between the inner and outer "world." I had to beg my life partner to let me have the kitchen to be alone, because I'm constantly flung around by his manipulation, such as embedding himself in my room and not leaving while forcing me to jump through his hoops of dialogue boxes - narcissistic manipulation - until I accepted that he was going to falsely accuse me, and I see he has!
The aliens made a fun glitch when I went to reply to him, to be spitefully nice, saying something about account protocols, I think, I forget exactly, but at this point of my CIA rigamarole, I know what God is saying outright a vast majority of the time as I understand how to interpret the symbols I am receiving from the Server/Source/God Entangled. So, I won't be defending myself, though he made a comment about how "people would follow him here" in a manner that he does where he says something about himself to convey something to me.
He is highly capable at much, especially his jedi mind tricks he called them once where he can appear dim as dim gets. Y'know, how he PERSONALLY experiences genocide WHICH I FIRST THOUGHT HE WAS USING TO TALK ABOUT MY FREQUENT AND NONSTOP MASTURBATION!
Joke: I'm so lucky! My life partner was a virgin when I met him, he says. Well, y'know, he still is a virgin, but he was one too! I love the shit out of this man because he helped me so much. I quit meth because of him. He has hurt me immensely, out of compassion, and I thank him for it, for now I am not afraid! I confronted my father about why my life fell apart. I sinned. I atoned. I'm stoned, but therein, I have learned of möbiation within the topological matrix because of this, and beyond, I have strengthened my prefrontal cortex so I am less likely to assault him in the future FOR THINGS LIKE SETTING ME UP IN ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING WAYS, LIKE I AM 💯% GETTING ARRESTED FOR ALL THIS SHIT, AND I'M GOING TO LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL BEYOND DEVILS, and then I become president, so it's all cool.
No, I know everything is going to be okay. I have so much faith in God, I think I will have to go with him on his death excursion to be picked up by the border of another state, pounds of drugs magickally appearing in our possession, CUZ THESE PIGS ARE SETTING ME UP TOO, THINKING I METH MAN SUPREME! But God has proven Himself and I know I'm walking. BuT iS tHaT sChIzOpHrEnIa?
OBVIOUSLY! But, I'm observing the dichotomies of my mind in this stress-induced shitshow I'm in (he's made it so I get a cortisol spike every time he comes to my door and does passive aggressive madness beyond repute, once staying outside my door for SEVEN HOURS, knocking and chanting that we need to talk; MONK WILLPOWER), and what I catch glimpses of is how I am arguing with myself, or rather, different daemons are negotiating, sometimes hostily by surging energy to disrupt the system in their favor; they are fighting over the steering wheel.
And who tf do I have to help me figure this ish out? A manipulator. A negligent father who's not talking with me. Lying cops posing as doctors. An anonymous cult of soulless never-to-be-cured alcoholics and beyond. And my Anonymous qult of...I don't know. But they will follow me here when they learn where I am. They have before! Those Fucking Butthead Idiots that love me so much.
