Apple

Doesn’t really matter these days, these companies just need a face but you have zero impact or power as a CEO now.

Tim Cooked.

It’ll be Jeff Williams, and Tim Cook’s enshittifaction of the product lines will probably continue to get worse with him at the helm.

Is it just me or does Apple feel like it’s heading in the complete opposite direction Steve Jobs would have taken it.

I'm gonna be really bummed if the new CEO, by coincidence, doesn't have the name Johnny Appleseed.

Dear Investors: don't worry. It's a very detailed plan.

Apple had two succesfull CEOs: Steve Jobs and Tim Cook.

Cue the music

Apple bout to drop the tiM2

I volunteer for the spot. I’ve been practicing my finger tip presses during zoom meetings for it.

Tim: I would love to see Dua

Assistant, two hours later: Guess what? You’re now confirmed to go on interview with her, at her home, on her couch

Tim: A front row concert ticket is what I meant but this works too

There will only be one Tim Apple

I hope whoever Apple picks brings back the excitement to the company. Tim's great, but he's an ops guy at heart. Every single Apple event is "This is slightly better than the one before it".

Let’s be honest, the largest stockholders (Vanguard, Blackrock, and Berkshire Hathaway) will choose whomever will generate the largest return for them. When Tim Cook leaves, I promise you that what little of Apple’s core values remain will be sacrificed on the alter of creating more value for shareholders.

Eldest boy?!

"The successor knows the most vital priority to the company to Apple is the continuation of Watch bands."

It will be Scott Forstall returning like the messiah

Well we all know how Succession ended.

It's so detailed, even I'm on it somehow.

It’s going to be John Ternus.

I mean, it makes sense.

Apple has more assets and revenue than most of the countries in the world.

Are they growing another CEO in the basement like that show Foundation?

Are we ready for the big return of Gil Amelio?

It's amazing that OpenAI's board shit the bed so badly this past weekend that even Apple has to reassure people they have plans in place to not mess up major leadership changes.

Just toss jobs on the Golden Thone and we’re all good. May he guide us from the warp.

Who is the Apple equivalent of theSecretary of Education?

We all know it’s going to be Justine Ezarik.

AI Steve Jobs.

Dua Lipa will be his successor

Tim Cook ? You mean Tim Apple ?

We all know it's Craig Federighi. Just a matter of when