this post was submitted on 11 Jun 2023
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Why do people hate us for who we are? I don't get it

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Only one of many reasons of course, but when I was living in a conservative part of the US, I ran into a lot of people whose perception of equality/inequality was very sensitive to "the rules are changing" as opposed to how people are affected by those rules. Since they or people they know have made a lot of sacrifices to conform to societal expectations, it strikes them as deeply unfair when such expectations are not enforced on others. It's the sort kind of reaction you might have when playing a game, and midway through your opponent suddenly invokes a house rule they never told you about. Not only would you be upset about the surprise, but you might worry about getting caught off-guard again in the future or be suspicious that the house rule was made up on the spot to disadvantage you. But life isn't just a game, and we don't get any chances to play again, so, understandably, these people take actual societal changes much more seriously. What they don't seem to focus on as much is whether the original societal expectations are beneficial or not—they may well be aware that society treats some groups badly, but see that as either an ineradicable problem or a necessary evil to avoid pulling the rug out mid-game. As someone with a pretty consequentialist outlook, that meant that these people and I were talking past each other a lot, not only on LGBTQA+ acceptance and rights, but on any issue where society is changing.

Interestingly, for those who have being Christian as an important part of their identity, Jesus actually preaches against this kind of thinking in the parable of the laborers in the vineyard at the start of Matthew 20. I also happen to be Christian (though the kind that wonders how anyone could see the gospels as anything but pro-LGBTQA+), and I have had mild success bringing up this story and just finding some common ground on what "fair" means before getting into more specific topics.

[–] isosphere@beehaw.org 1 points 2 years ago

I think that the people who are most vocal in their hate are opening a window into their own internal judgement. They are filled with toxicity that is designed to keep people in line, to serve specific roles (man, especially). It spills outward, but it works inward too.

If you believe in the importance of your Masculine Role™️, in the rigidity of it - and it's the most important part of these people's identity, everything revolves around it; trucks, guns, gettin' er done, etc. - when you see people who reject your entire concept, its a personal attack. It calls into question the validity of their own identity, which they didn't get to choose anyway - that was the point. Their minds are forced to contend with the reality of a diversity of gender/sexual expression - it either softens or hardens their hearts.

Imagine being a manly man in manly ville who has defined their entire life around manliness. But hating it the entire time. The burden of a role you didn't make for yourself. Accepting that you could have done different, been different, is hard, and their community makes it impossible.

Obviously the right thing to do is to soften on traditional roles, for their own sake and others, and to reject pressure from everyone they know even if it means being alone. It's hard to do.

[–] NotAUser@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 years ago

In addition to what everyone else said, conservatives have been using queer people as a wedge issue since the lavender scare. This didn't create the initial hatred, but it definitely amplified it.

[–] BentiGorlich@gehirneimer.de 1 points 2 years ago

I don't have anything useful to say other than: I am a cis person who doesn't despise anything about the LGBT community. Of course a lot of the stuff is not my taste, but for me you are mainly people. And I like people...
Be yourself, be proud of yourself and what you've acomplished and coming out is an acomplishment

I don't get what the fuck these dumb religios people have against the community or queer people in general, I don't get what politicians have against you eigher... I guess because you are different and a minority they think they can belittle you for their own good while proudle swinging the american flag or something...