this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

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[–] ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 86 points 2 years ago (3 children)

My favorite was Cardi B being short for Cardigan Backyardigan

[–] redeco@kbin.social 53 points 2 years ago (1 children)

T Pain being short for Tylenol Painrelief got me pretty good

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

That one sounds like a Harry Potter spell

[–] Sway_Chameleon@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

You mean Harryington Potterson?

[–] YoFrodo@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Huh, i always thought it was short for Cardiovascular Bronchitis

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 46 points 2 years ago (9 children)

My favourite gotta be Jimothy

[–] PochoHipster@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 years ago

I like Tederick, and Billomena

[–] numlok@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

We've named the two squirrels in our backyard Jimothy and Jeromathy.

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Jimothy Jonathan and his freaky fast delivery

[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 5 points 2 years ago

I know a pair of brothers named James and Timothy and Jimothy is of course their collective name. Always has been. How could it not be?Also Jimmy and Timmy.

[–] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 years ago

I call a manager at work "Jimothy." He does not find it amusing.

[–] Kerrigor@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I prefer Bimothy. Bim for short.

[–] not_woody_shaw@lemmy.world 2 points 2 years ago

Bim comes. Ben comes. Bim brings Ben broom. Ben brings Bim broom.

[–] redeco@kbin.social 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Jimothy, Jimberly, and Dillup are some of my go-to's

[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 3 points 2 years ago

Also Jonald or Dougery.

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[–] Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 2 years ago

That is called a "nichard name".

Source:

[–] FirstPitchStrike@kbin.social 39 points 2 years ago (1 children)

My sister calls my dog Bessie and I'm like, bitch she ain't a cow. If you need more name than Bess her full name is Bessica.

[–] wrath_of_grunge@kbin.social 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

really missed an opportunity for Bessaphine.

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] Unaware7013@kbin.social 37 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Billiam has been my favorite for years. My buddy will was always annoyed

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Bobert, eventually known as Boberto, really didn't really appreciate that the names stuck

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I know a Billy Bob (he does not appreciate using those names instead of William Robert) but I need to take it to the next level now.

Billiiam Boberto

[–] TheOakTree@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago

Billiam Boberto is a glorious name, I don't see why anyone would object to that.

[–] cam_i_am@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I had an aunt and uncle named Hillary and William.

Usually known as Hil and Bill.

Occasionally known as Hillary and Billary 😄

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[–] SqueezeMeMacaroni@thelemmy.club 23 points 2 years ago

Jimothy and Benneth and Kenjamin

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 23 points 2 years ago

Bike is short for bichael

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 22 points 2 years ago

Tedward is one of my favorites

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago
[–] instamat@lemmy.world 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I refer to our IT director Jeb as Jeborah

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 2 years ago
[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I have a cat named Paul which I sometimes call Paulexander.

[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 5 points 2 years ago

Not Pawlexander? Weak.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

A friend once took a sharpie to a buddy's name tag at work, changing Craig to Graig. At first he couldn't figure out why the customers kept calling him Greg, then some lady said something like "I've never seen such a unique spelling of the name Graig before. He looked down n saw his name tag. Hilarity ensued. 10/10 would recommend to anyone who works with a Craig at a job that people wear name tags for.

[–] Grabthar@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago

Hey, Bud! Or is it Budley? Budward? What's Bud short for?

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

It’s very appreciated. I’d say too appreciated.

[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

My mom has a dog named Teddy and me and my wife call him Tedward or Teddison all the time.

[–] sagrotan@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Our Andy went from Andronimo to just Mo, he has to explain it at least 3 times a day lol

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

That's esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margoritaville Robbiertson to you!

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@feddit.de 4 points 2 years ago

I love his videos, once watched like half of them in a day

[–] Hereforpron2@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] Kase@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Help me out, what's a good one for Jessica? I wanna annoy my sister :)

[–] wieson@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago
[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 4 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

I'm afraid you're shit out of luck. Jessica is already an elongated name. If it were something like Jess, you could use Jessilda.

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[–] DillyDaily@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

You could always throw on a hyphenated middle name. She's no longer Jessica, she's Jessica-Anne.

I have a short full name, think something along the lines of "Sam Dal" (it's not, but same vibes), a lot of people ask what Sam is short for, but the answer is nothing, my legal name is just Sam. My friends will call me "Samuel Jay Dalford" as running joke. Made additionally funny because it's a masculine name and I'm not a man.

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[–] Doodleschmit@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago

Sometimes I call a coworker Stevinold. He's usually nonplussed about it.

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