B, and it isn’t even close.
this post was submitted on 05 Dec 2023
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What about B appeals to you
It’s more that infinite uncles implies an incredibly high rate of being molested. If it’s literally infinite, it’s being molested a lot.
Uncles or fish is irrelevant, infinite anything with mass presumably fills the entire space of the universe immediately and collapses everything into a giant singularity.
Only within a finite space. If the universe is infinite then they can be spaced arbitrarily far apart
If the space was infinite, we wouldn't exist.
From the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy:
It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination.
The thing is that the universe is as far as we can tell the not infinite, just infinitely expanding. The known universe is measurable (like 46 billion light years)
Idk what that implies for the existence of open space however. Like if that is infinite or if it is somehow created.
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Wouldn't the non molester uncles protect you from the molester uncles thereby creating war on earth between the uncles that want to molest you and the ones that want to protect you.
I would also like to prevent a war where one possible outcome is a whole army molesting me.
I would watch that movie
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Infinite uncles means the population of earth is completely unsustainable and the collapse of every system is imminent.
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For me, literally everything except the balding and I really couldn't give a shit, I'll buzz it all off anyway.
Infinite rare fish? Well as it happens, fishing is my biggest hobby, so that's just fuckin delightful.
Mongolian real estate empire? Well that's passive income and/or something I can sell. As a mongol mogul, in gonna try working the angle of an exotic but affordable fishing, hunting, and nature tourism destination, really try to put Mongolia on the map for Western tourists.
No taxes dovetails nicely here, also making it easier to both expand as well as make the business model more resilient.
Neighbors scared of me? Great! If they seem cool, I'll reach out to them, otherwise, fear is a great way to not have to deal with shitty neighbors! In Mongolia they'll be far away anyway.
Night light to keep the monsters at bay.
And the balding we will deal with by just keeping it buzzed low or shaving my head completely.
Fuck taxes
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B all the way. I'll use my real estate and no taxes to figure out a way to make a fuck ton of $400/month apartments like it's 1990 to help the less fortunate/average person. I'll then use the no taxes to hopefully refine my business model to the point of making my affordable apartment business more widespread across the entire country and just keep expanding until I get either assassinated or receive a Nobel Prize.
rip in pices
Depends on how scared the neighbors are. Are they "let's avoid that guy" scared, or "we better kill him before he kills us" scared ?
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B is preferable mainly because the prospect of always being hard seems horrible.
Having to contact my doctor every 3 hours sounds exhausting.
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Ok and hear me out here... Tell me more about the Uncles.
Because if they are gainfully employed in a variety of fields I now have amazing contacts for anything on the cheap.
If they are the "handsy" uncles, they are significantly less desireable.
You have an infinite number of uncles. Statistically, many of them are going to be billionaires, handsy creeps or creeps out to collect your hands.
If its effectively a normal spread of people then its a resource. If this is some genie trick with unintended consequences like all of them being unemployable alcoholics who all need a place to crash then its a liability.
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Infinite rare fish sounds awesome, but I'm a bit concerned about logistics
Infinite rare fish
They’d no longer be considered “rare” then, right? Or can only I eat/keep them?
Night light
Could be good or bad. Is this a night light in just one specific room? Is it a flashlight I always have on me to use as needed? Is it a glowing orb that floats around me that I can’t control?
Every rare fish is the only one of its kind
of those 12 attributes, only two of them are desirable.
I'm just gonna opt out of this entire post.
B. Sell all the fish, House the homeless, not have to pay taxes on anything including selling of fish and housing the homeless, walk past my neighbors every night at 10:01 PM with a cart of rare fish, pay for more hair with rare fish.
Can I unplug the night light?
yeah but theres a second one
Do all the fish exist right away or I can just like summon them from the void whenever I want?
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B. Use fish to fund low income/homeless/transitional shelters. Also, balding. That's more hair than I have now!
I thought this was about Animal Crossing because of the fish but regardless B
Is Mongolian real estate empire a tent shop?
What kind of "guess the billionaire" game is this?
Probably A. Gotta get that balding
Both are balding. You are just covering up the fact that you want an infinite amount of uncles
No, just the balding. (How did you know?)
Seriously specific
B. Not even a question. A is awful (except being friends with Tom could be chill)
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A, I'd create an uncle army and take over the world.
On the one hand, no taxes. On the other,
Infinite rare fish sounds like a modded skyblock resource generation system
This is the shitpostiest shitpost to ever have been shitposted. Bravo
A: uncles take care of themselves (unlike the fish), you can have much more fun with uncles. Always hard could be a problem... I mean, it means I could never wear jeans again. Could be always hard on demand. Also I really like lambos. Tom Hardy is a cool guy as well.
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