this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
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[–] Copythis@lemmy.world 124 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I am a professional photocopier technician, focusing on office sized, but also desktop laser photocopiers. I am certified in HP, Lexmark, various Xerox models, and various Canon photocopiers.

I say with all of my heart: Fuck HP.

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[–] Sneptaur@pawb.social 103 points 2 years ago (9 children)

But half of their modern printers require a monthly paid subscription to even function. They need to stop doing that.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 76 points 2 years ago (1 children)

people need to stop buying HP printers

[–] Hyperreality@kbin.social 89 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They did.

They now rent them through a monthly paid subscription.

[–] gregorum@lemm.ee 27 points 2 years ago

zing!

so shitty, though

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[–] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 62 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Does anyone at HP even use their own printers?

[–] balancedchaos@lemmy.world 39 points 2 years ago

Depends if there's a camera nearby or not.

"They're gone? Bring back the Brother."

[–] Dudewitbow@lemmy.zip 19 points 2 years ago

I wish i had the answer to this, as i work ewaste in the silicon valley, but HP isnt one of our clients.

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Probably not the inkjets. The lasers have been good. Old ones were eternal.

[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I remember programming rude messages into the LCDs of those old HP Laserjets in college. Good times

[–] TimeSquirrel@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago

"FEED ME A STRAY CAT"

"BBQ SAUCE LOW"

Some of my favorites.

[–] Halcyon@discuss.tchncs.de 58 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

It's not their printers which are hated, it's their business model of selling overpriced ink and toner cartridges to a price that's higher than champagne prices and using technical devices to make it impossible to use other toner sources, firmware to make printers stop working when ink runs anywhere near low (they define 'low' as 33% ink left), while at the same time ensuring that as much ink and toner as possible are wasted through unnecessary testing and calibration and cleaning processes.

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No, we hate their fucking printers as well. Non-removable printheads and automatic retraction to try to stop you from unclogging their shit hardware. I'd also include the firmware in critique of their printers, what you mention above, as well as limiting black printing if color is low (even with dedicated black cartridges). Arbitrarily restricting scanning on some models, etc.

We decidedly DO hate their printers.

[–] Halcyon@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 2 years ago

That are all symptoms of said business model. And Hewlett Packard isn't the only company with such abominations.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

No, I hate their bloated as fuck drivers as well.

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[–] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 35 points 2 years ago

Can we sue for false advertising

[–] uhmbah@lemmy.ca 27 points 2 years ago (3 children)

We have some old, great HP printers. Rock solid.

As they die, Brother, my Brother.

Fuck the latest HP.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (7 children)

Iirc Brother printers are heading down a similar dark path. Though I don’t recall where I got that info, so take it with a grain of salt.

Edit: I somehow misspelled brother.

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[–] Luke_Fartnocker@lemm.ee 20 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well, I don't think they could be any more hated.

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)
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[–] Bwaz@lemmy.world 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The HP logo is all it takes to make printers hated at this point. Couldnt give me one even if it included 10yrs of ink.

[–] Joelk111@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

I hated my mom's Epson way more than any HP I've ever used. It was nice because it was a ink-tank model, but the software was awful.

This is kinda like saying I'd rather step in the slightly smaller pile of shit.

[–] Xavier@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 years ago (1 children)

With all the interest in 3D printer and large communities building their own printers, where are the amateur 2D printers? Did we just jump to 3D printing because it was cooler (which I also admit is amaizing)?

I just want a basic 2D inkjet or laser printer that doesn't stop printing because magenta is low or doesn't waste ink to “clean” the print head, nor make up weird errors because it doesn't have access to the internet.

What about printers without ink? Would it be too hard/complicated to use a lower power laser (instead of a laser cutter) to burn/scorch a thin micrometric, if not nanometric, layer of normal everyday printing/copy white paper?

As a child, I remember scorching magazine/journal paper and all sorts of wood materials with my grandmother's handheld magnifying lens under the summer sun in the yard. I was able to draw stuff without burning some of the material completely.

[–] lolcatnip@reddthat.com 13 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

What about printers without ink?

Laser printers have existed for a long time and they don't use ink, but they do use toner. I'm gonna assume just scorching the paper has been proven to be a bad idea, because someone would have tried to market a toner-free printer by now otherwise.

My best guess is that it's very hard to scorch paper to a color anywhere near black without creating a serious fire hazard. Even if you could calibrate the laser just right, the next batch of paper could burn because it has a slightly different weight, texture, or composition.

You'd probably end up being special paper stuff something in it that turns black at a fairly low temperature. That's pretty common for things like receipt printers.

[–] knobbysideup@lemm.ee 19 points 2 years ago

They were when HP was run by engineers.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 17 points 2 years ago

Does this count as false advertising?

[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 years ago (1 children)

HP makes my most hated printers.

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[–] DeathWearsANecktie@lemm.ee 12 points 2 years ago (9 children)

This is a good opportunity to ask if there's a better printer company whose printers we should buy instead.

[–] Senex@reddthat.com 36 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou!

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[–] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 14 points 2 years ago (9 children)

In addition to Brother, Ecotank style printers (printers that refill from ink bottles instead of cartridges) are pretty good even if they come from usually shittier printer companies. The ink is extremely cheap and there's no way to prevent people from using different brands of ink bottles.

You have to pay more up front for the printer, but that's because they're sold with the idea that the printer company makes its money upfront instead of overcharging you for ink later.

[–] gullible@kbin.social 7 points 2 years ago

Just adding to this, toner printers are ideal if you’re printing only a few items per year. If ink dries, it makes for some intensely frustrating issues. I’m 90% of the way to finding HP’s CEO and bringing my clogged nozzle printer down on their stupid face.

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[–] perviouslyiner@lemm.ee 11 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Subhead: "apparently they're being serious" - The Register knows what people think!

[–] LUHG_HANI@lemmy.world 9 points 2 years ago

Hahaha. Now this explains why MSoft have started pushing hp smart app. Absolute scum bags them both. Wonder how much MSoft accepted to push that software out?

[–] AnonTwo@kbin.social 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

So...it's not an HP printer?

[–] silverbax@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

My guess if you buy a HP printer, they send a Brother laser printer, which is going to make consumers much happier.

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 7 points 2 years ago

!nottheonion@lemmy.world

[–] firewyre@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

HP literally defines my hate of printers, this is hilarious.

[–] CosmicCleric@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago

Someone did some market research and found out they're in the dog house.

[–] Nougat@kbin.social 6 points 2 years ago

So they recognize that people hate their printers.

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