this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2023
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Choosing Beggars

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Stories of people who are being way too picky when it comes to who they beg for a relationship or any other matter.

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[–] HubertManne@kbin.social 92 points 2 years ago (2 children)

People just are unwilling to take free stuff. Im always trying to give away free semen and I do most of the work to boot.

[–] Karlos_Cantana@kbin.social 28 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The boot may be your problem.

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 18 points 2 years ago

In the US it's called a "trunk".

[–] finthechat@kbin.social 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Yeah, most people use a sock

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Rookie mistake. Using the sock contaminates the sample with semen from all the other guys in the building.

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Nah, lots of people here in the US enjoy licking them.

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[–] pacoboyd@lemm.ee 64 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I DEFINITELY know tree guys that would do this. Especially if it's oak, walnut, or some other decent wood.

Hell, even my neighbor (who is a retired tree guy) will regularly take down trees for me that he then uses for firewood. I just have to do clean up.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Pssh, amateur.

I know four guys

[–] Zozano@aussie.zone 17 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Pffft, imagine only knowing four guys.

d33

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[–] Guest_User@lemmy.world 63 points 2 years ago (6 children)

Depending on the type of wood, the Amish will literally do this.

[–] Moobythegoldensock@lemm.ee 55 points 2 years ago (1 children)

They don’t tend to respond to many social media ads, though.

[–] discostjohn@programming.dev 24 points 2 years ago (2 children)

You might actually be surprised by that

[–] running_ragged@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Well, all the ones that might have were outed by the national alert system test a short while back. So maybe not.

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[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

Or the Japanese.

The guy who lived across the street from me when I was a kid lived on a decommissioned farm and was a bit of an arborist, among other things. Apparently he had some kind of ornamental tree that was valuable. One night the fucking Yakuza busted through his back gate, cut down his tree, and stole it.

At least that's how he tells it. Some shady Asian looking dudes had approached him about the tree earlier and he'd told them to get lost. They may not have actually been the Yakuza, but the story sounds much better if they were.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

I live near Amish country, and they won't come out for one smallish tree. They will give a discount for quality wood, but they won't do it completely free. Lumber isn't that expensive around here.

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[–] crystalmerchant@lemmy.world 42 points 2 years ago (1 children)

what the fuck leave that beautiful tree alone!!

[–] aidan@lemmy.world 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

It can be a hazard next to houses. I've seen many health looking trees fall on them after storms/ice storms.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 years ago

Both trees near my house have fallen during a crazy storm. Our pine-tree missed our car by like 2cm. It was incredible. Ripped out, roots and all.

Our other tree split during the same storm and damaged our roof.

No more trees within falling distance of my house, ever again.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm pro-tree but after a Fall of constant leaf-raking, I can understand why so many people have bare yards.

[–] Shellbeach@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Serious question: why are you raking the leaves?

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[–] webghost0101@sopuli.xyz 34 points 2 years ago (3 children)

I am confused on why this cant work.

Surely cutting down trees for wood can be profitable, otherwise capitalism wouldn’t be doing it.

Is it so hard for a professional firm to also source their wood from urban areas to save a tree elsewhere?

[–] stockRot@lemmy.world 14 points 2 years ago

There's no economy of scale in suburbia

[–] Aleric@lemmy.world 6 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Most companies in my neck of the woods (greater Seattle area) charge for cutting down the tree(s) AND keep the wood, unless you pay them more to keep it yourself or the wood is fairly worthless.

[–] BlackAura@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Also Greater Seattle Area. Friend had someone come out and verify a tree up the hill from his house was at high risk of falling onto the house. Some kind of maple.

Got immediate approval to take it down from the city without all the usual permitting process.

Quotes he got all included **paying extra **to haul the tree to the dump. He opted to keep it on his land so they left a bunch of rounds in piles around his house / driveway, and it took four of us a weekend to use a wood splitter and axes to chop into firewood (and even then we didn't finish it all).

I guess they just dump it because land is too expensive in the area to store it stacked to dry to be usable firewood. Not to mention the labor costs.

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[–] LeFantome@programming.dev 25 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I am not sure how this is “for free”. He is paying in wood. If nobody bites, I guess he will have to switch to money. Good chance somebody takes him up on the offer though making it win / win.

What is the problem here?

[–] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 18 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

Because kids sitting behind a computer don't know how to value wood or other resources, so they think because it's not "monies" it must be BS.

I know two guys that would take this down, cut it up, and have it stacked at their sheds for seasoning and eventual sale in half day. That's a mature tree, so it's not a bad deal at all. And I don't see anything about stump removal, so they would get to skip the hard part.

And if the owner then wanted stump grinding, they would definitely be given a separate estimate for that.

But I wouldn't be shocked if someone took them up on this. Usually you'd pay some small amount to bring them out and sign away the resources, but depending on height and the take-down options, I could definitely see someone taking this offer.

[–] droans@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago

Depends on the type of tree of course. But if you had, say, a mature walnut tree, you're gonna have people offer to pay you for the tree and the wood.

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[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 22 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It's legitimate though. There's good money in wood

[–] Mobiuthuselah@lemm.ee 3 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not at all. The money is in the work and time it takes to produce a quality wood product.

I build custom furniture and have had many people offer me a downed tree. It has cut to rough length, slabbed, prepared for drying, properly dried and stored for at least 1 year per inch of thickness before you start working with it. I can cut into a board and know when someone has rushed it, and it can be downright dangerous. Improperly dried wood has a lot of internal stress that makes it pop violently when cut. Then it curves and warps and you might not even be left with much good material at all by the time you joint and plane it to be straight and flat.

[–] cosmicrookie@lemmy.world 10 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I met with a local forester hired by the district I live in (a city in Denmark ) on friday to discuss some options for a local forest area that had been unattented for many years.

He suggested we thin it out and although maybe 50 to 100 trees needed removing we would not have to pay for it but would make money on it.

He said that the craziest thing he had experienced was that they had been able to sell poplar tree to India!!! Because of COVID, a lot of empty containers were in Europe. Instead og shipping them back empty, they're filled it with poplar tree to make matches.

The point is that we wouldn't have to pay to have a week's work of tree cutting but would be making money (mostly beech wood). I am sure that the value is increased manyfold during processing and woodworking but raw wood is worth good money too, and there's a lot of wood in large trees

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[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 20 points 2 years ago

LOL no. I'm getting paid to cut the tree down and haul it off. THEN I'm getting paid for splitting it into firewood.

[–] Cosmicomical@kbin.social 13 points 2 years ago (5 children)

$2000 seems like alot of money to cut a tree, i got multiple trees cut down for £600

[–] jamhandy@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 years ago

Different country, different costs I'd imagine.

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I used to work on a tree crew, 99% sure this was posted by someone ironically. Surprising amount of memes related specifically to arborist related stuff.

[–] los_wochos@feddit.de 10 points 2 years ago

I think it's not so bad. That's quite a lot of wood.

[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 10 points 2 years ago

If they lived like a block away from a Lumbermill willing to buy Aspen then I would consider it.

[–] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Why do people have to fuck around with trees? Screw your deck, bro.

[–] exhaust_fan@lemmy.world 15 points 2 years ago

Entire forests are being razed and no one bats an eye. People want to free up space on their property and likely plant another tree elsewhere and everyone loses their minds.

[–] Tesla@lemmy.world 7 points 2 years ago (3 children)

2000 dollars wtf It's like 15-20 dollars in my country

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[–] afraid_of_zombies@lemmy.world 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Haha I think I would like to meet this poster. He is clearly a "well you have to try" type.

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[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago (3 children)

That's closer to a $4000 job.

[–] BassaForte@lemmy.world 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I had a tree like this, maybe a little thinner but close. An ash tree that started dying due to ash borers. I had it cut down (stump left) for only $800. Granted, I found a tree cutting service that didn't use super fancy machinery. But they still did a good job and got it done in like 30 minutes.

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Being closer to the house and garage might affect it. We had five ash trees killed by borers. There was a place near me that briefly had been taking the wood, and would come take the ash trees down if they were above a certain size. But after a few months, they had more wood than they could use in a lifetime. Those beetles killed a lot of trees.

It's also worth noting that the arborist offered to haul away the lumber for a fee, or they would cut it up and leave it for firewood. We put a sign up, and it was gone by the end of the day. We even had one guy bring a splitter and left us a small stack for our firepit.

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[–] F_Haxhausen@lemmy.world 4 points 2 years ago

Why so sarcastic?

You get $2005 worth of wood to sell!

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