I'm was right there with you a few years ago. My daughter plays, and I was sure to point out how it was catering to male fantasy and all that. But then I took her to some conventions she asked to go to. Do you know what I saw. More women then men.
And there was a space of computers that people could stop and play genshin and the like. Again more women then men. And the women were all playing genshin while the guys were playing games with more zoomed out interactions. It turns out that women are a big part of the reason for the intricate costumes on female characters and such. I still don't know what really to make of it all, but I do know my first impression of a game just objectifying women for male pleasure is not accurate. And don't get me started on the female cosplayers at these conventions.

If I have the choice, I like to have my protagonist as a woman because it's just you know different from the norm. Like I chose a female shepherd in Mass effect and now I can't see that character as anything but a badass woman.

Where did you get "create a character that looks as lewd as possible" from "hot girl ass?"

I will be one of the first people in line to call out someone for objectifying women, but these are cartoon women. I really don't think it's a big deal. I really think it's okay to ogle a fictional ass. It's not my thing, but it doesn't hurt anyone. It's a victimless crime.

Except... It's not a woman, it is an object. It's not real.

Your inability to separate the real from the make-believe is more than a little sus.

What if I liked to make my female character as funny as possible because that's what I find attractive, Is that objectifying them? What if I made them red headed for that reason, is that objectifying them? Objectifying is to treat a woman like an object. Liking a particular type of woman is your preference, not an objectification of women.