Furry

I was 10 or so when my ADHD decided I was going to hyperfixate on centaurs, and in my wanderings through the pre-dotcom-bust internet it didn't take long to find that the fantasy-novel-cover type images were already being outnumbered by the furry ones on vcl. Then I discovered Chakats and fell straight into the fandom. XD

I think mine was just a slow gradual thing, not a singular event. I googled werewolves a LOT though, and drawing animals is a lot easier than drawing people, so my art mighta been a key factor.

I'm 99% sure everything for me can be traced back to Blinx: The Time Sweeper, an old Xbox exclusive with anthro cats and pigs. Really awesome game, and to this day, I think it was a gem of mechanics and dynamics that it's a pity never became something more. That would've started in around '06. I was 3-4.

I didn't know the concept of furry until '16 or so, when I would've been 13-14. I had a fascination with fur and animal stuff, and a younger friend (he was like 12) said something like "Oh, so you're a furry?" A few googles later...I was like GOD NO. Came back by early-2017, with a more careful Google and an open mind, and yeah, I was. Joined a furry forum in mid-2017, and the rest is history. Seen a lot of stuff in my time here, but unfortunately, I arrived too late to see a lot of the furry community that used to exist in my local area. Just a few years too young to have caught RCFM.

Warrior cats. Then MLP: FiM. But what actually made me call myself a furry was Zootopia.

I was exactly the target demographic for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in its heyday.

I read an animorphs book from the perspective of Tobias.

I've always felt more comfortable around animals than people, so of course I would be drawn to animal and animal-like characters in media. (And there are a lot of them when you're a kid!) It didn't become anything of note until my teen years, however.

One day I was flipping channels on the TV when I came across a documentary about foxes. It was meant for children, but the information was new to me and I found myself watching to the end. A day or two later I was watching something on Cartoon Network when the main character suddenly held up a fox as a prop for a joke. The next day I noticed a random picture of a fox somewhere, and then it was like foxes were suddenly everywhere.

And yet, despite foxes being such a common animal with great importance in folklore and popular culture, I realized that I knew almost nothing about them. This felt like a problem that I needed to solve. I read everything I could about the creatures, both in my father's old encyclopedias and later on the internet when I got access to it, and the more I learned the more I started to identify with them. As a socially-awkward teenage nerd I really resonated with the idea of these small, solitary creatures struggling to get by on intelligence alone, without all the easy advantages given to their larger canine relatives. Now I began to imagine myself as a fox, and would often spend the last moments before sleep imagining the adventures of this other me. This idea of an "inner me that is a fox" would become a useful tool for exploring my identity.

While I consider this the start of my furriness, it would be many years before I actually joined the furry fandom. There was a lot of misinformation on the early internet that kept me away, and I won't repeat it here but I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about. Then one day a friend of mine shamelessly held a brony birthday party and I decided that if he could embrace his weird interests so openly then I could at least admit mine to myself. I started lurking on r/furry, realized they were actually cool people, and was shocked to learn that the weird little fox people in my head are something other people have and that they're called "fursonas".

Being a furry never felt like a conversion or choice to me, it's just something I've always been. It probably showed its first signs around when I was like ~8, being interested in reading about dragons and werewolves. Eventually figured out I was more interested in werewolves than other people were, and being terminally online I stumbled upon the VCL imageboard and a lot of stuff clicked into place. Figuring out I was gay was also hand in hand with learning about furries, so props to the furry community for helping with that.

I know a lot of people consciously choose to be a furry at some point but I wonder how many people are just locked into it from the start, like how I feel.

I watched many furry_irl videos from the click and eventually I realised I had an affinity for furries.

For me, there were several separate threads that all came together at one point.

In middle school, I was envious of my friends' artistic abilities and I resolved to get better at drawing. This was during the heyday of DeviantArt and so I made an account and followed my friends. Traversing through people's profiles and what they liked, just randomly surfing, I discovered the work of Melissa O'Brien ("Frisket17") and I fell in love with their entire oeuvre.

Then I realized why I was so in love with her work specifically: for the first time, I saw depictions that closely resembled the world that I had built in my head -- a sort of sunny, tropical spinoff of Redwall. And then I was like, oh my god, it's not just me! I'm not the only one who wants to see this sort of thing. I wanted The Lion King but in a city. I wanted the beach episode of Redwall. I finally had a word for it: I wanted furry. And it turns out I could draw these characters, too -- I could flesh out my own world AND get better at art. Win!

I didn't realize it at the time, but the reason I had created my own world in the first place is because I desperately wanted an escape from my real life woes about gender identity and my sexuality. I learned through anthro art the relationship between the furry fan and their fursona, and I was like, "I want one, too." I REALLY liked the idea of being a person, but WITHOUT the BS human limitations that were contributing to my gender dysphoria.

So, I guess I stumbled upon the fandom initially because I wanted to get better at art, but the reason I stuck around is because it offered a safe space for me to explore identity. That was the real awakening.

Sometime in 2013 or 2014 my brother called my art furry art as an insult and something to avoid, I didn't really know what a furry was. This was the biggest mistake of his life.