ElfBean

I was sadly a mix. Always gonna hate myself for that... There was never any anger behind it but still...

Eyeliner for sure. It's the one thing that actually makes me look and feel like me, and once I'm finished with laser I might actually be lucky enough that it works by itself

I've found that the further I get with laser the more bearable it is, not just easier in general but looking in the mirror while I do it. Just can't wait until I don't need to put so much work into covering what's still there when I'm wearing makeup

I find the colour changes to be fairly mild but definitely noticeable. Everything looks slightly sharper and colours are a little more vivid and easily distinguishable between different shades than before. Plus it feels like my brain can process more different parts of an image (think horizons or views of large distant areas) than it used to. Couldn't tell you why it happens though, my guess is it's down to reduced dissociation

Could always put the link under a spoiler though, right?

Good, good. Here's hoping everything goes well and you adjust to stuff fairly quickly :)

Make sure you check your levels every so often. I started on 5mg and it turned out to be way too much so I had to half it

I don't want my partner to fix me, they have enough to deal with already. I want to fix myself for them

Tell me about it. I'm with my first ever partner, they're absolutely amazing and I really don't know how I'd be doing without them, and yet every single tiny little thing makes me feel like they're gonna leave me even though I still believe them when they say they love me. I don't know what's wrong with my brain but I don't like it, I just wanna be able to believe they love me without constantly worrying that I'm doing something wrong

TLDR; obtaining and administering all necessary medications and blood tests yourself. Not everyone is willing or able to go through medical professionals for any number of reasons, mainly costs and medical gatekeeping. When done right the risks are minimal, though never nonexistent ofc.

Before 16? Maybe one or two, excluding myself, but we pretty much kept it hidden. Turns out there were way more of us and we all came out after we left secondary school and the awful environment the other kids created for us

That sounds pretty close to me tbf. I'm glad I am where I am right now (though it definitely needs improvement) but the majority of it feels like it's just happened around me with no real input