Tucker Carlson has entered the chat
And then again 13,000,000,000 years later.
Wait, was he eating something in that shot? Sunflower kernels? Or was it... corn nuts?
Update: I installed xfce, which is also broken in its own way, but it allowed me to reinstall Cinnamon which now allows me to lock the laptop, manually or automatically.
We ran out.
cinnamon-screensaver/zara,now 6.4.1+zara amd64 [installed]

I don't see any errors at all.
Dec 08 23:17:01 Mint-Yoga CRON[10491]: (root) CMD (cd / && run-parts --report /etc/cron.hourly)
Dec 08 23:17:01 Mint-Yoga CRON[10490]: pam_unix(cron:session): session closed for user root
Dec 08 23:17:18 Mint-Yoga dbus-daemon[780]: [system] Activating via systemd: service name='org.freedesktop.hostname1' unit='dbus-org.freedesktop.hostname1.service' requested by ':1.190' (uid=1000 pid=10482 comm="/usr/bin/gnome-screenshot --gapplication-service" label="unconfined")
Dec 08 23:17:18 Mint-Yoga systemd[1]: Starting systemd-hostnamed.service - Hostname Service...
Dec 08 23:17:18 Mint-Yoga dbus-daemon[780]: [system] Successfully activated service 'org.freedesktop.hostname1'
Dec 08 23:17:18 Mint-Yoga systemd[1]: Started systemd-hostnamed.service - Hostname Service.
Dec 08 23:17:51 Mint-Yoga systemd-resolved[723]: Clock change detected. Flushing caches.
Dec 08 23:17:51 Mint-Yoga systemd-timesyncd[733]: Contacted time server 185.125.190.57:123 (ntp.ubuntu.com).
Dec 08 23:17:51 Mint-Yoga systemd[1]: apt-daily.service - Daily apt download activities was skipped because of an unmet condition check (ConditionACPower=true).
Dec 08 23:18:09 Mint-Yoga systemd[1]: systemd-hostnamed.service: Deactivated successfully.
Something is actually preventing the system from being locked at all. If I click the lock icon in the menu above the log out button, nothing happens.
That is false.
Sometimes they were both.
If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it might not be your son.

Okay, I did it.
I cancelled my appointment.