LadyAutumn

joined 2 years ago
MODERATOR OF
mtf
[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

It looks about the same as any vagina really. I do have a clitoral hood, but I prefer stimulation over it rather than direct stimulation personally. It can also be stimulated somewhat from the inside.

It feels also about the same as any other vagina lol. Like it's kinda hard to get much of a specific texture profile from it tbh. Fleshy I suppose.

I had penile inversion vaginoplasty and I self lubricate. My surgeon preserves the bulbourethral glands during the surgery for this reason. Those are the parts that create pre-ejaculate. Which are homologous to the Bartholin's glands, which help lubricate the vagina for cis women. So yeah if things are heated I do get wet lol.

Having one is pretty normal at this point 2 years post op. It was overall probably the single most incredible event of my entire life and my whole life changed a lot after. I used to suffer a lot from bottom dysphoria. To the point that I struggled to function a lot of the time. Getting surgery was the best choice I've ever made for myself and yeah I am extremely happy with the outcome.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 6 hours ago

In general I am opposed to machines being in direct control of weapons. I am also definitely of the opinion that there are lots of people who shouldn't be driving.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 15 hours ago

He really hasn't. He purchased companies that were already sitting on profitable ideas. He is not an engineer. He is not a scientist. He has no training in any design discipline. He takes credit for the ideas of people he pays. He takes credit for the previous achievements of companies he's purchased.

What is it going to fucking take for people to finally actually see the grifter for what he is? He's never had a single good fucking r&d idea in his life 🙃 he has wasted billions of dollars researching and developing absolutely useless ideas that have benefited literally no one and have not made him any money. It is absolutely incredible how powerful his mythos is, that people still believe him to be or have been some kind of engineer or something. He's a fucking racist nepo baby. He's never done a single useful thing in his life. He wasn't the sole individual involved in creating PayPal (and was entirely unrelated in turning it into the successful business it became), he didnt found tesla nor is he responsible for any of the technological developments it made (except for forcing his shitty charger design that notoriously breaks down and charges at half the speed that competitors do), he did not found SpaceX and by all metrics involved has been loathed by everyone at the company for the past decade for continuously committing workers rights violations and fostering a racist sexist and ableist work environment. The man has done nothing but waste people's time stoking his ego and sexually abusing a slew of employees for the past 2 and a half decades.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 16 hours ago (7 children)

I am never getting into a self driving car. I don't understand why we are investing money into this technology when people can already drive cars on their own, and we should be moving towards robust public transportation systems anyway. A waste of time and resources to... what exactly? Stare at your phone for a few extra minutes a day? Work from home and every city having robust electric transit systems is what the future is supposed to be.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (4 children)

Are you advocating blissful ignorance as a like. Lifestyle? I'm glad that you have enough money and stability to do that lol if you're poor or marginalized blissful ignorance is not an option if you intend to survive.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 22 points 1 day ago (8 children)

Finding a place to legally watch a specific TV show has become very frustrating. Been through this with several shows. I no longer use any streaming services but it can be nearly impossible to find some shows, particularly ones that were released pre-streaming era.

Hm. You should bring a lot of comfortable clothes. I honestly kinda wish I had cut my hair before surgery, cause you end up spending a lot of time fairly low energy and in bed. My hair ended up getting super tangled as a result. If youre diligent you could braid it frequently or just get someone else to brush it, but I had like 3 foot long hair so I was not capable of managing it on my own lol. Bring hand and lip cream, hospital/clinic air can be super dry. Bring some stuff to keep you occupied ofc, game consoles or books or shows. The clinic i went to had us all in dorms so I brought headphones to be polite to everyone else staying at the time.

Before hand, I mean for me it was winding off of smoking (almost 2 years since i quit) and trying to get into a healthier eating routine. Cutting back on caffeine and stocking up on low effort meal supplies. Trying to keep calm. Things go very fast once youre there but the build up can be nerve wracking.

After hand, while youre in the hospital they will be instructing you on every little thing. They won't force you to walk, or at least my clinic only forced me to do it on day 1. But I kept walking every day, usually twice a day for 15 minutes each. Its good to keep yourself moving but also not overdo it.

Once you're back home do not try to get back into your normal routine. You are off your feet and your are in recovery and you will need help. Crucial that during the first 2 months you spend as much putting minimal strain on your body. You'll sleep a lot. Get a in bed laptop/meal tray. It will come in handy, or at least it did for me. Download a timers app on your phone early on for timing dilation, pain killers, walks, etc. The first few months feel like forever at first but it goes pretty fast. When you get first home though yeah you really want to rest as much as possible, get lots of fluids and focus on adhering to the routine your surgeon tells you to do.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

He protected them from every form of intervention. Without a supportive American government they would not have even had the weapons to do it themselves.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone -4 points 3 days ago (3 children)

He lived a good life. He saw the zionist project he supported all his life come to full fruition. He just wanted to win the presidency to have had 2 terms, not out of any semblance of anti-fascism or concern for minorities. He just wanted it for the sake of personal achievement.

He will go down in history as the president who failed to do literally anything to stop fascism. He will be remembered for the hundreds of murdered reporters, 10s of thousands of murdered doctors/paramedics/nurses, and the hundreds of thousands of bombs dropped on children in Gaza. His name will be forever connected with the Israeli colonist project and it's genocidal aims. He, more than anyone else, is why the genocide was able to happen in the first place. He gave them the guns, he gave them the money, he gave them the missiles and war machines and tanks and planes. He protected them from the UN, he protected them from international prosecution, he spread their hoaxes and propaganda on the international stage in front of audiences of millions of people.

I'll shed no tears when he dies. Dying of cancer is merciful compared with what Israel does to Palestinians. Deaths he has long fought to justify. Good riddance.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I'm glad you have had good experiences. It sucks how like hit or miss it is in that way. I've had very understanding and cooperative doctors and I've had doctors who are clearly doing everything they can to deny me care. My partner recently finished the process of getting an autism diagnosis, for example, and that process took them a year and a half of being shown the door and fighting to get another appointment.

If really goes well above and beyond just trans care. But I was gatekept for 7 years from getting reassignment surgery. I live in Canada, healthcare is public here, but the wait list for new doctors where I live is about a decade. So I was entirely dependent on 1 specific healthcare professional to provide the care I needed, just one person I had to convince and I didn't have any other options. Can't tell you how frustrating it is to run into a wall continously like that. If you have money you can just bypass that process, but if you don't depending on where you live you're stuck with whatever you get.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 4 days ago (5 children)

The healthcare system in North America actively works against us in every possible way. You are your only advocate. If you dont speak up for yourself your needs will fall on deaf ears.

[–] LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yeah I just about had a meltdown trying to disable all the AI collection that Samsung phones come with nowadays. Phones are more like data harvesting engines than devices of utility. It's gotten so much worse over the past 5 years. I mean it was never good but it's making the internet nearly unusable if you want any kind of privacy.

 

They can't use this to make a useful database of we just flood it with whatever lol

Link for those who feel like doing a little low effort sabotage. I was trying to find conversion therapist info to report them but couldn't find anything. Could be an idea. Report transphobic businesses or doctors.

 

If you're out of the loop or intentionally avoiding social media and the news cycle, then I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. Two executive orders were written yesterday by Donald Trump that specifically target transgender rights and freedoms. One targeting the rights of transgender members of the military, another targeting the healthcare rights of transgender youth. These orders state in no uncertain terms that trans people are unsafe evil liars deserving of contempt and exclusion. This is not an exaggeration, and the shift in the narrative behind these executive orders is extremely alarming and likely to be seen again as the basis for further attacks against us.

There is a narrative created by these two orders. A narrative that trans people are dishonorable, that trans people lack selflessness and humility, and that we are liars. That we are wrong that our existence is wrong. That it doesn't matter whether transition decreases our suicide rate, whether it allows us to live happy, fulfilling lives. That death itself is preferable to the existence of an adult trans person. That being transgender is by itself wrong and makes us worth less than cisgender people. A narrative that children must be protected from becoming transgender people, even if it means they die. That no one can be allowed to think that being transgender is alright, that it's okay to be a transgender person.

This cannot go unchallenged. It's not enough for trans people to resist alone. This has to come from as man voices as possible. The writing is on the wall. This amounts to dehumanizing persecution intended to foster perceptions of us as inhuman. It is going to get worse. This is week 2. What awaits us in a year no one can say for sure. We need protests we need civil disobedience. We need to help our most vulnerable get out. We need to protect trans youth.

Please refer to the transgender resistance network for mutual aid and help. I had tried last year to organize something here but was not capable of it due to problems in my own personal life.

We need solidarity. We need to help each other. And we have to resist. Not just these orders, not just this narrative, but we have to resist the fall into hopelessness and acceptance. We have to fight. Our lives have value. Our lives are worth the same as anyone else. Don't let them get to you, don't believe in the narrative. Transition saved my life, maybe it saved yours too. Transitioning and seeing others transition has been the most beautiful and rewarding experience of my life. I refuse to accept a reality in which we are forced into closets, forced into hiding. I beg of everyone to join me in refusing that outcome.

 

Like in 2016 a rising tide of conservatives emboldened by the Republican victory are starting to crop up online. Hate speech and random attacks directed at the trans community in online spaces will continue and most likely grow louder in the coming weeks. For our safety and mental health I encourage everyone to avoid online spaces that are not strictly moderated. Avoid social media where transphobia and misogyny are tolerated. The effect of constact exposure to hate speech is profound and horrific. We need to shelter ourselves from it as much as possible. I know it doesn't sound very brave to say that but its the truth. We need to look after each other of course, but first of all we have to look after ourselves.

Like everyone here I've been through a chaotic mess of emotions over the past couple days. I am furious, heartbroken, terrified, and sick with anxiety. I have picked apart everything thats happened in the past few months and tried to make sense of how this could happen. The hows and whys of it dont matter though. This is the reality we are confronted with and we have to exist within it. There is no use in praying for a different world. There is no use in lamenting the reality as it exists.

Trans people have made it through so many eras of open hostility towards us. Our community is built on the foundations laid by those who came before us. We persevere because of our solidarity, our empathy and our unity. We must now turn our attention to how we can fight back against this system. We must move our focus to how we can persist within a new world. Trans people still need hormones. We need ways out of hostile communities. We need protection and we need security. Our focus must change to how we can provide those things without the help of institutions. We need networks of supportive cisgender people throughout deep red states. We need supply chains for bringing hormones to people who cannot access them. We need communities online oriented around supporting our most vulnerable.

I am committed to this community supporting all of those efforts, and am looking to become personally involved in organizing efforts as time goes on. Channel your anger and your fear into action. Process your feelings together, support each other, and remember that youre not alone. We are not alone. Things aren't okay. They won't suddenly be okay tomorrow. But we can look after our community. We can push back. It's our duty to do so, for trans youth and vulnerable trans people who can't advocate for themselves and are subject to the whims of the system.

 

I don't know what comes next. I don't know what to expect. It's serious. It's real this time. Prepare for the worst-case scenarios and do not assume anything. A lot has been said about how this administration plans to handle queer rights. It could mean anything. No level of institutional violence against trans people is off the table as of now. Medications can be banned, non-conformity with assigned roles can be criminalized, conversion therapy can be accepted as widespread policy. I don't know. The end result is it's not good. Whatever this change in power means for us, it's not good. I don't want to downplay the seriousness of what's at stake here.

That being said, as escape and resistance efforts materialize, this community will support them. We will persevere as queer people have always had to. When the systems fail us, we rely on each other. Grassroots efforts will come together in the coming weeks and months. I encourage people to do what they think is right and to do what they think will keep themselves and their families safe. We have to stay together and we have to love and protect each other. No matter what happens. Unity and queer power doesn't stop now. Today is a day to mourn the loss of a safe world for so many queer people. Tomorrow, we should begin to steel ourselves for resistance.

I hope the best for everyone. This community is here to support us all as this unfolds. I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could say or do. The waves of anxiety and fear have been washing over me for the past couple of hours. Let's mourn together, I guess. And get ready for what comes tomorrow.

There's some crisis lines in the sidebar I encourage anyone to make use of if you're unsafe right now. Those are all explicitly trans affirming support lines.

 

I havent gone swimming in around a decade, and now that I'm a little over a year post up I really want to but I'm still so nervous to actually go and buy a swimsuit. 😅 there's something intimidating or nerve wracking about the process.

Anyone have experiences buying swimsuits? Is there any tips going in I should know? I think I know what style I want, a 2 piece with high waisted bottoms and a top with an underwire.

 

I was thinking of making a community engagement post last week in the run up to the Easter weekend and transgender day of visibility, but it got lost under a recent promotion at work and a few busy days.

So yeah how was your Easter weekend / TDoV? 😊 Most of my family is on vacation so I just had a quiet weekend at home with my partner. All the drama that went down with TDoV landing on Easter Sunday was.. unsettling to say the least. I hope everyone was able to weather that storm of hate and propaganda safely.

 

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to quickly add that the finalized format for requesting engagement has been decided. A commenter in the other thread suggested a similar format. (Thank you @Kayday@lemmy.world)

At the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the following.

[Requesting Engagement from _________]

For clarity purposes, this is the official way to request specific engagement groups. I'll respect other methods, but this way, it keeps things nice and transparent.

 

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking over how to address large amounts of outside engagement disrupting the safety of our community. As Lemmy is a large space that extends well beyond the borders of our community, when posts hit front page we often start getting a lot of engagement on posts by people outside of the transfeminine experience. Often well-meaning people engage here and say things that are insensitive, require OP to further explain themselves and their experiences unrelated to the topic of the post, or disrupt the safety of the space for transfeminine people.

This is a problem that I'm taking seriously. The purpose of this community as I see it is and has always been to provide a safe supportive community to transfeminine people. So with that in mind posters are now allowed to request engagement from specific groups on their post. This can be gender diverse people, trans people with unsupportive parents, trans parents, people who have struggled with addictions, trans people of color, etc.

I've seen a few people make comments on engagement issues lately and so I've decided that this course of action makes the most sense to preserve the safety of the community while still allowing engagement from other people when that engagement is wanted.

How you choose to make this clear is for the moment up to you. You can add a tag in your title, state so explicitly in your title, or write it somewhere in your post (try and do so clearly as I might not have the chance to fully read your post in time).

Moderator action may be taken per your request. I'm choosing to keep a steady eye on how this affects the community and to ensure that it isn't being weaponized against marginalized people within our community. I ask that everyone is patient and expect some adjustment to this new rule. A certain amount of discretion will also be applied on a per incident basis, this is not a rule banning all non-transfems from the community just providing posters a choice with regards to engagement.

This new change has been added to the sidebar and is considered effective immediately.

Feedback on this change would be great. If you think some aspect of this should be changed or you have concerns please let us know.

 

It's been a while since we've had a general discussions thread, and with the holiday season ramping up, I imagine a lot of us are feeling very stressed and worn out.

Spending time with family members is always a time, to say the least. Getting my family to respect my partner's they/them pronouns has been frustrating and exhausting. It enfuriates me that they can understand and respect my pronouns, but only because I'm binary gendered. Getting very sick of deconstructing the "them is multiple people" argument, as well as the "I'm still a lesbian even though my partner is transmasc non-binary" conversation. 😓

But aside from that, I'm actually excited about the holidays this year. And I hope everyone has something to look forward to, time with friends and family who love and accept us. We all deserve love, compassion, and acceptance, and to be able to enjoy a time of year that should be representative of all those things.

This space is 100% open and welcoming of venting, frustration, whatever you want to post here. And if you see cishet people disrupting you, disrupting the community, invalidating your feelings or opinions please report them and we will deal with them accordingly. I'm not handing out bans to every cis person who has an opinion on anything here, but this is not a space for cisgender people. If you're reading this and you're cisgender, you are welcome to post and contribute here. By all means, do so. But keep in mind that this space is not for you. You are a visitor in this community. How we feel, how we struggle, the experiences we as transfeminine people have come first every single time. I won't change that. And if you're going to participate here, you need to abide by that.

I just wanted to get that out of the way because occasionally we get an influx of people from other parts of the fediverse here and they are welcome but I continue to see cisgender experiences being used to invalidate transgender ones. And that's going to be a focus of mine going forward.

What are your thoughts on this time of year? What's been your experiences so far with family, the good and the bad? Let's all support each other through this. And what are your thoughts on how this community has been over the last few months? I'd love to hear it if anyone had any suggestions or thoughts on how our community has been operating.

 

I'm starting to hit a bit of a wall with voice training lately. I can find my resonance, I can adjust the positioning of my vocal cords and where my voice is coming from. I occasionally pass on the phone, and I work all day over the phone so I do get pretty regular indirect feedback in terms of how my voice gets me gendered.

But I am very much struggling with pitch and maintaining consistent pitch. It's just not happening and even when everything else is perfect my pitch will slip, and then I'll get misgendered. I cant seem to find a specific pitch and comfortably rest there. I'm also 8 years in at this point, I've been doing voice training for a long time and I just think when it comes down to it I might be one of the women for whom training alone just isn't enough.

I've done a lot of research into glottoplasty and find myself in a financial position where I could hypothetically afford it. Most accounts from people who've had the procedure seem to indicate they've had great results with it, but there's a lot of people who swear that it'll basically render me mute if I get it done. Its minimally invasive and the surgeon I'm considering has good rapport with his patients and I'm confident he'd do great. But on the whole I'm hesitating a little bit and curious what other people think. I do IT work that involves using the phone quite a bit, but if I had to take time off work for a little while that would almost certainly be fine. I don't sing and really don't have any concerns with regard to vocal range either.

Are you considering vocal feminization surgery? Why or why not? Have you experienced similar things with regards to voice training, or has training alone been enough for you?

Feel free to chime in with whatever thoughts you have on the operation or voice training in general.

 

I'd like to welcome @ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone to the transfem moderation team! 🤗 Ada is one of the admins of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance and a very active member of the transfem community. She has already been providing me with assistance in running the community and answering any questions that I have, she's a perfect fit for our second moderator.

The addition of Ada to our moderation team helps maintain the safety of our community and our readiness for more complex moderation issues. Please as always report any rule breaking you see and we will address it as soon as possible.

Thank you so much Ada for joining the moderation team! 😄

 

I hope everybody's had a great week so far. I wanted to make some kinda post to engage everyone in a casual context. I was originally going to ask in the title "who has been really supportive in your life recently?" So if you want to answer that I suppose you can lol.

I myself have to work all weekend but its the evening shifts so I'll be fine. My best friend has been especially supportive of me lately, she took me out shopping when I was in between paychecks and even bought me a couple crop tops I wanted. I really appreciate her being so willing to do those kinds of things with me even tho she has social anxiety. Having supportive people in your helps a lot.

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