Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it's only matter of time until you can't work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?
I'm currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors...
My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.
Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I'm falling behind on work because I'm struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.
Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.
I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn't an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I'm now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can't trust myself to do things right even at max effort.
This sucks.
I'm on desvenlafaxine, an antidepressant. It helps with the ADHD "walk through a doorway and wtf was I wanting to do again" problems I have. I'm also a generally functional person with ADHD. Graduated with a degree and all but just rather spacey and forgetful.
Also turns out I've been massively depressed for years so that also cleared up. I haven't taken Vyvanse, but back when I was taking just Ritalin I'd still get intense negative moods and was generally snappier. If taken as needed now it's not so bad.
Overall: 10/10, husband recommends.
(He pledged that he'll fund my medications if I ever had trouble buying them since I've done a lot better since going on them. Happy wife, happy life and all)