i got invited to a night out :/
i haven't seen this friend in like 6 months and she's reached out (which i literally never do) and i feel like i Have To Go, in the same way that i Have To talk to my closest friend on discord about once a month despite the fact that i never want to. i feel like theres something fucking busted in my instincts as a member of a social species. But my grandma made me promise when i left home that i would try to have friends, so for the last 5 years i've been putting in some (usually minimal) effort but god i always fucking dread it, like this invitation has ruined my day. but we do what we have to.
i just wish i understood why the prospect of occasionally interacting with one of the few people i know makes me feel nauseous despite the fact that we are literally an animal specifically evolved to be friends with eachother wtf
AND its going to cost like a day's wages fml
.
i'm like, damn why have i never had a relationship
(hint: the idea of going out makes me want to die lmao)


we are objectively northern wtf






like legit what does she get out of this? it seems like an awful trade deal. she gives up a perfectly pleasant night to herself doing shit she cares about and in exchange she gets to spend $80 on drinks/transport/etc for no reason.
or my long distance friend: he loses a nice night relaxxing and playing video games, and replaces it with video games but Worse because you're constantly worrying about Conversing Correctly and you can't quite breathe or relax for 5 hours.
i feel like i'm a fucking alien for not getting this lmao