What do you think about that?
I think that what I believe in is what I believe in, not what I expect other people should also believe in. I'm a not a priest or some cult leader expecting blind devotion and submission from others. People are more than welcome to (dis)agree with me and my values.
I also think I should be free to believe in whatever I want, without anyone else feeling entitled to decide for me what I can & cannot believe. I'm fine with them trying to demonstrate I'm wrong, as long as their demonstration is not about publicly shaming or forcing me in any manner.
BTW, this tendency you mention (to require others to act like we do), is the main reason I tend to steer away from any gathering/collective/org. Too many people can't resist whatever tiny little bit of power they get their hands on and they will abuse it.
Hobbies should be a good starting point. With a caveat.
I'm into sketching/watercolors and I can tell you I constantly meet people (women and men) that are into the same hobby.
We can meet by accident at the art store, or at gatherings, expo (or class), or by just being on the same spot at the same time painting the same thing (I live in Paris, we have many nice spots for painters). More often than not, these women are quite happy to spend some time sharing a genuine common interest without constantly having to worry about anything happening.
Because, as far as I'm concerned, and that's the caveat I mentioned, I don't expect anything else to happen when I meet someone who is into the some hobby as I am. I don't do that to meet women (or men). I do that because I enjoy sketching and watercolors (like I enjoy playing chess) and I don't give a fuck about women being there or not. But I'm also always happy to meet someone interesting. I don't know if this makes sense? It kinda makes sense to me ;)
And btw, through that common hobby, I meet women (and men) from all age and from all conditions. Not just 50+ old farts (like I'm) but also quite many that are barely in their 20s, or even less. And barely any of them were drunk... so far :p
edit: typos