It is now added to my list!
Mastema
I started Zhuang Zhou, but found that a confusing place to begin, so I got The Tao is Silent and the Ursula LeGuin translation of the Tao Te Ching, and I'm working my way through those.
So the Tao says, "be still, be silent, and the answers will come.", and meditation/therapy help us achieve that silence, if our minds have become too noisy to hear the answers? I like that.
I'm here! I'm doing it! You prefer conversations or memes?
This is the most Tao bullshit I have ever seen! 🤣 I like you people.
Anti-helldivers mines is right. I typically carry a 380mm bombardment just for the chaos they cause. I love stratagems that are basically non-specific, F#@& everything in that direction, tools. It is especially hilarious when I throw one right on top of the fabricator, kill my whole team and somehow the fabricator is still there.
I've not used the Deadeye. What's the deal with it? Prior to this sniping build I would go with the Marksman rifle and the AMR.
For someone like me, who is new to Matrix, is there a recommended client? I see several on F-Droid.
Bots are my preferred enemy also. Tell me more about your railgun use, please! I keep trying to love that thing, but haven't found the knack yet. It seems underwhelming for something called a railgun. In my mind it should fire really slow, but basically one-shot anything, regardless of armor, but that doesn't seem to be what happens.
If you are looking for an electronic system, I recommend Obsidian or the similar, but free Logseq. As you tag entries it builds a node graph of how your thoughts are connected, which my ADHD really enjoys adding to.
There are a few things that actually make this better, if you want it to get better. I don't know what your life situation is like, but under no circumstances should you go home after work and be alone. Go to a park and walk. Get a bike and ride. Join a boxing gym. Anything to be moving. Stay off your phone. They are basically unhappiness machines designed to make us want something other than what we have. Reach out to friends and family (I know I just said put your phone down, but communication is the one redeeming quality) And maybe most importantly, start some sort of therapy/meditation practice. I recommend IFS therapy. If you can't afford a therapist, there is a book called Self Therapy by Jay Earley that gets you 90% of the way there.
The realization that you will need to come to, which I can tell you now, but won't really mean anything until you are ready to hear it, is that you can't be "good" to be in another person's life until you can be "good" by yourself. You have to learn to be ok company for you, and be ok in a room with just your own thoughts, before it is really fair to ask another human being to be in there with you. Right now you are learning that you aren't ok without this person, or without some person. I'm learning the same thing now also, if it helps. Learning that is huge. Congratulations and condolences all at the same time. You have some work to do. You can do it, or you can not, but life doesn't get better until you start doing it.
I don't know what it is worth, but there is a random guy on the Internet who wants you to succeed and learn to be content with yourself. Once that happens, the connections you make with others will be genuine and much stronger.
DM me if you need anything at all, and I believe in you. The dark thoughts are not the truth. Your strength and kindness is the truth. Believe in that.