It’s very likely that it’s all about justification of where someone is more than it is about getting to where someone truly wants to be. Making a lot of positive changes is hard but claiming that you actually really wanted whatever shitty outcome is “easier”.
In the ‘80s it was about claiming you definitely weren’t buying your friends and, if you were, that was some kind of cool power thing and not horrifically depressing for all parties involved. These days most of the world hates these losers, and for good reason, so they shift the blame away from themselves in a desperate attempt to pretend that they aren’t at fault.
We’re social animals and we want genuine connection. The alpha males are deeply lonely and angry about it all the time but try soooo hard to pretend they aren’t which only makes them sadder and madder.
They just carried open knives around in their shirt pockets? I mean, I wanna feel sympathetic but…