Tweekerz

i'm learning italian and i want to practice it more.

i usually have low energy and sometimes dissociate and can’t snap out of it

ok, so i'm generally kind to everything and everyone, but bugs, slugs, snails, etc. really bother me. i have intrusive thoughts and i really get the urge to kill these things and have in the past because i hate them. i'm scared that this is going to be the sign of a future serial killer because i also have the urge to kill and destroy things but i don't. it's not often i get the urge, but when i don't like something, i absolutely will lol

of course, i need help, not for someone who can say definitely, because only i can.

ok, so i'm born female, but i don't identify as such. honestly, i think i align myself somewhere on the "man" part of the spectrum, but i feel very "soft" and "tender", i guess that means i don't feel a sense of hypermasculinity or a strong sense of gender.

part of me seems to be male aligned and the other part just feels soft like i say, no specific gender. rather, i'd say a gender but not one that counts as male or female. since i can't express my gender, i say i'm just me, but i do get curious what gender i would count as. i'm just me in the end, but still.

i know you've all heard it before, but i didn't catch up, i was honestly a bit surprised when i was browsing and tesseract on dubvee shut down.

i feel like satan or some demon is inside me like i said. i must repent. i must pay for my sins. i must make an offering to the lord. idk why i feel this way. 😭

i'm genuinely starting to believe that some sort of demon or satan himself is inside me. i know it's not real and i should get help, which i am getting, but i just needed some comfort or perhaps anecdotes. no criticism please and i don't think i need advice, i'm getting help and i will talk to someone. it feels like a demon is giving me urges to say mean things i normally wouldnt say. i'm crazy aren't i?

i just need comfort or perhaps someone share similar experiences.

like i want to answer but i also just feel like staring and peeking through the little door window because people…