Zeke

I'm gonna laugh when they start losing fingers to the doors being slammed on their hands.

@agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works I'm not trying to fix it because we're doing well together. I just want to figure out how to talk to him more about this. When I left him, I left him for both our sakes. I couldn't give him what he needed at the time because I didn't even know what I needed or wanted or even who I was and he lost himself in it as well. Our time apart was good for both of us and that is not just my words.

@surewhynotlem@lemmy.world So loving two people isn't polyamory? I don't understand where you got these ideas from.

@SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world There's a lot more to it than that. We both had our own issues that we weren't talking about or confronting. It got to a point where neither of us really cared and were just going through motions and snapping at each other. I also, at the time, couldn't give him what he needed. I felt inadequate and had to figure things out for myself. I didn't know who I was or what I wanted and he admits that he felt the same. We know communicate more openly than we ever really had. I hadn't put the poly puzzle together until recently

@SoftestSapphic@lemmy.world The break up wasn't about this. It was about not being able to communicate and losing ourselves after years of being together. I don't appreciate the harsh tone of your comment.

@agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works I was talking to him about being poly. He said he's just afraid that I'm gonna lose feelings for him, but I'm happy with him. He's put in so much work on himself and we can openly communicate again. I'm just trying to figure out how best to reassure him that he's safe, but I understand if it takes time

@agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works He literally told me it was a fear thing.

@OmgItBurns@discuss.online I can answer one part of this already because I've already watched my partner with someone else and was okay with it. He dated someone else while we were separated and it didn't bother me. I care about him getting what he needs too and his happiness.

From what I know about the other guy, he was dating 2 people when we met so chances are yes. I haven't said anything about this to him yet though. I'm just working through things first and making sure I don't make a mess. I have been interested in others while with my partner as well, but never put the pieces together like I can now.

I appreciate your input! I intend to take this slowly and let things happen naturally. Plus side, my current partner tends to do his own research into things like this so maybe he'll come around in time. Thank you!

@colonelp4nic@lemmy.world Thank you for not immediately jumping to the assumption that I'm gonna cheat! I'll check it out! Thanks!

@Cypher@lemmy.world

The thing is that I haven't done anything. I haven't acted on anything and I'm not gonna be like my dad who cheated on my mom. I'm trying to figure out how to explain things to him in a way he could understand. To help him see my point of view. I'm not trying to hurt him and I'm not trying to force the matter. I just need to know how to talk about this. I don't want to hear anymore comments about cheating because it's not at all what I'm doing

@Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone I have no intentions of cheating. I just don't know how to explain to him how I feel and how much it means to me or to reassure him that I'm not cheating and that I still love him just as much

It's rude to call people out like that